Watercooler Stories

Democrat's uterus quip annoys Republicans

TALLAHASSEE, Fla., April 1 (UPI) -- Republicans in the Florida House say an Orlando Democrat should refrain from joking about his wife's uterus or other body parts on the House floor.

Rep. Scott Randolph came up with the quip, which he said was actually stolen from his wife, during a debate on legislation that would ban government bodies from collecting dues for unions, The St. Petersburg Times reported Thursday.

Randolph, arguing the Republicans are reliably pro-business and only oppose regulation that hurts "the little guy," suggested that if his wife could "incorporate her uterus" Republicans might be less interested in restricting abortion.

Republican leaders said Randolph's remark was inappropriate in the presence of young House pages and other children who might be in the gallery.

"I think it's a sad commentary about what we think about sex education in the state," Randolph said Thursday.

Prisoners to cater high school prom

HAXTUN, Colo., April 1 (UPI) -- The principal of a Colorado high school said a nearby prison handling the catering for this year's prom has previously catered other school events.

Darcy Garretson, who serves as both principal of Haxtun High School and superintendent of Haxtun schools, said prisoners at the nearby Sterling Correctional Facility will be catering the prom for the first time this year, KMGH-TV, Denver, reported Thursday.

Garretson said the prisoners commonly cater community events and have previously catered school functions including National Honor Society banquets.

"It's just quite common around here," Garretson said. "It's kind of surprised me that it's drawn some attention. I'm just thinking, 'Wow, a lot of the community groups in the town use them.' It just isn't unusual."

Man receives speeding ticket from 1985

NEWBERRY, S.C., April 1 (UPI) -- A South Carolina man said he received a speeding ticket in the mail this week for an incident in 1985 he thought was long resolved.

John Jeffords said he received the ticket in the mail Tuesday from Newberry County and said he could recall the incident involving his old turbocharged Volvo, WIS-TV, Columbia, S.C., reported Thursday.

"I had a car that tended to get me in a little trouble from time to time," Jeffords said. "One of those, that you look down at your speedometer and you're doing 90 in a 60 or 55 mile zone at that time. So yeah, I got a few and I do remember one in Newberry."

However, Jeffords said he can recall paying the ticket via mail with a money order to avoid having to go to court.

"The trial date was going to be between Christmas and New Year's," he said. "I was going to be out of town, so I go to a convenience store, get a money order and send the ticket off. Think nothing of it. Thought it was done."

Newberry County said the $45 money order never arrived and officials are now demanding payment.

"I've moved numerous times," Jeffords said. "I've changed my address every time I've moved. I've paid other tickets and fines. Seemed like it would have been brought to my attention. I just don't know how it slipped through the cracks. Don't understand it."

Jeffords said he has not yet decided whether he will pay the fine for a second time.

Judge refuses to nix campaign ads

CHICAGO, April 1 (UPI) -- A judge has refused to order the taking down of political ads that suggest a candidate for mayor in a Chicago-area city would allow drugs to be sold from City Hall.

Joe Faso and David Gonzalez are running for mayor of Chicago Heights, Ill., a city of about 30,000 south of Chicago. Gonzalez filed a lawsuit last week seeking a temporary restraining order against Faso, the SouthtownStar reported.

Cook County Circuit Judge Carolyn Quinn said Faso's ads, which include mailings to voters and a YouTube video, are protected by the First Amendment. They said Gonzalez's brother was sentenced to probation in 2005 for selling a small quantity of cocaine from an address next door to his brother's accounting firm and suggested he would be doing the same thing at City Hall if his brother becomes mayor.

"I knew it was a frivolous lawsuit to begin with," Faso said. "It was propaganda on their part, and they knew what they tried to accuse us of wasn't true. The best defense for a slander is the truth, and that's what we expected the outcome to be."