Jockstrip: The world as we know it.

'Dead' man attends own funeral

CURITIBA, Brazil, Nov. 9 (UPI) -- Stunned relatives tried to jump out a window when a man presumed dead showed up at his own funeral in southern Brazil, officials said.

"In my 10 years in this business, I have never witnessed a scene like this," said Natanael Honorato, manager of the funeral home in Brazil's Parana state.

Ademir Jorge Goncalves, 59, a bricklayer, was identified as the victim of a car crash and his funeral scheduled for Nov. 2, a religious holiday known as the Day of the Dead, CNN reported.

Goncalves, however, wasn't dead. He'd spent the night drinking at a bar near the site of the crash, but wasn't the victim. When he learned of the mix-up, he went to the Funeraria Rainha das Colinas funeral home and walked in on his grieving family, some of whom tried to jump out a window when they saw him.

The mystery was solved later in the day when a family from a neighboring town identified the dead man as their missing son and took his body home for burial, Honorato said.

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Mayor, 92, wins fifth term

SOUTH COATESVILLE, Pa., Nov. 9 (UPI) -- A 92-year-old mayor just elected to a fifth term is older than the Pennsylvania town he represents.

James C. Kennedy of South Coatesville is not the oldest mayor in the United States, an honor believed to be held by Dorothy Gechen, the 101-year-old mayor of Ocean Breeze, Fla., the Philadelphia Daily News reported. But he is old enough that he decided to rest instead of attending a victory party Tuesday.

"They had a little celebration down in Thorndale, but I didn't go," he said.

Kennedy, a Democrat, won 85-59. Four years ago, when he sought a fourth term, he was unopposed.

South Coatesville was incorporated in 1921, when Kennedy was 4 years old. The population has risen above 1,000 since the 2000 Census, when it was 997.

Despite its small size, South Coatesville, a suburb of Philadelphia, has its problems. Kennedy said he is on the lookout for grants that will help him avoid raising taxes.

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Oregon man has pot stolen, gets arrested

SALEM, Ore., Nov. 9 (UPI) -- An Oregon man who listed a bag of pot among the items stolen from his truck wound up with a drunken-driving citation and, perhaps, a hangover.

Calvin Hooper, 21, Salem, called 911 to say someone had broken into his vehicle in a tavern parking lot and stolen his jacket, $400 in cash and three-quarters of an ounce of marijuana, police said. A sheriff's spokeswoman told The (Salem) Statesman-Journal Hooper was having a rough night Tuesday after a stint at the Freeloader Tavern.

Sheriff's Lt. Shelia Lorance said dispatchers sent Deputy Ryan Clark to the Freeloader to take a report, but Clark couldn't find the caller.

The caller dialed 911 again to ask where the deputy was, but the dispatcher had trouble understanding him because he repeatedly pulled over to vomit.

The deputy eventually located Hooper at an intersection standing about 100 feet from his parked truck. He allegedly told the deputy he was looking for the dirty dogs who swiped "his weed." Clark decided that was the right time to put the cuffs on.

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Rare bottle of whiskey stolen

WESTON, Fla., Nov. 9 (UPI) -- A man and woman working in tandem stole a $3,500 commemorative bottle of whiskey from a liquor store in Weston, Fla., police said.

The limited edition Johnnie Walker Blue Label bottle was one of just six bottles distributed in Florida to mark the 200th anniversary of the Scottish whiskey maker, Broward Sheriff's Office spokeswoman Keyla Concepcion said.

The bottle taken from a display case at Master Wine Liquor had been gone for three days before store employees realized it had been stolen, The South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported.

Surveillance video from Oct. 30 showed a man putting the rare bottle in his pants and replacing it with a different bottle while a woman distracted store employees, police said.