Helicopter Moms: The Cape

 

SKOKIE, Ill., Aug. 20 (UPI) -- I asked my kids whether I'm a helicopter mom. It was okay to ask as they are now all young adults -- 19, 22 and 25.

Are you an overprotective, hovering mother? They rolled their eyes affirmatively while restating my question but they were also grinning. Therefore, I couldn't have been all that bad -- could I?

They immediately offered the incident of "The Cape" to illustrate their collective position on the issue.

Ten years ago, I received as a gift a wool object that I maintain is not a cape, despite my children's protestations. It's a -- um -- a longish woven wrap that's open on the sides and in front and rests over the shoulders. Nice and comfy.

One day, when picking up my son from junior high school (during my years as an at-home mom, I chauffeured my kids to and from school to reduce the risk of their contracting airborne diseases on the bus -- is that overprotective? Certainly not!), I showed up at the schoolhouse door in my new wool wrap. I don't remember why I even got out of the momvan on this particular occasion.

My son was embarrassed. I was astounded as I wasn't used to such a reaction. My kids have long since told me that, from the time they were old enough to be mortified by a parent, they were so accustomed to my being different in so many ways from other moms that they usually took it in stride -- and often (thank goodness), pride.

I solemnly swore to my pre-adolescent I would never again wear the thing where anyone who could identify me as his mom would see it.

I found odd, however, my kids' citation of this anecdote to show an overprotective rather than an embarrassing mom. When I pointed this out, my usually articulate children merely shook their heads, shrugged and grinned again.

As I puzzled over this, it suddenly occurred to me that the garment itself appears as though it could gather up little ones and hold them in its amplitude. As it has no sleeves or front closure, my arms naturally hold it closed in a way that could seem like I'm enfolding a child. I guess it looks like a sweeping, protective -- cape.

I then recalled that when I was teaching, some of my female students enjoyed wearing the "blue woolly," ostensibly to keep warm in an often too-cold classroom. I remember they looked snuggled in. I realize now when they wore it, they sometimes appeared slightly sheepish, as though they longed to thrust their thumbs in their mouths and curl into a fetal position.

Mark Twain facetiously expounded on the adage, "Clothes make the man" with: "Naked people have little or no influence on society." An apt corollary might be: The cape makes the helicopter mom. Cape-less moms have little or no hover-ability.

(Editor's note: Sometimes it's hard to tell whether you're tackling motherhood in the 21st century -- or being tackled by it. This is the latest in a series of reflections by UPI writers.)