Jockstrip: The world as we know it.

Suspect got away clean, almost

WICHITA, Kan., Aug. 19 (UPI) -- A man who broke into a house Wichita, Kansas, fled in his underwear after the homeowner showed up unexpectedly and caught him doing his laundry, police said.

Investigators said the suspect, described as a white male in his 30s, is believed to have entered the home by breaking a basement window, The Telegraph reported Monday.

The homeowner said the burglar was startled when she returned home, and high-tailed it out of there wearing just his blue boxer shorts -- and grabbing her purse on his way.

The woman said she managed to chase the intruder and recover her purse but he half-naked suspect slipped away.

NYC turtlenapping: 1 count or 2?

NEW YORK, Aug. 19 (UPI) -- A Brooklyn, N.Y., pet-store owner is appealing to a shoplifter who made off with his two-headed turtle to bring back the missing reptile.

Sean Casey told the New York Post the turtle has special needs, such as having to be hand fed to prevent fights between heads over food.

The turtle disappeared Sunday from a tank at Casey's Hamilton Dog House while Casey was with a customer.

"I grew up in the neighborhood and I know most of the people here," he said. "I did not expect it in this neighborhood."

To add insult to injury, the Post said, Casey had to convince New York's finest over at the local precinct that he wasn't pulling their legs when he reported the theft.

Crasher head-butted ball organizer

PORTREE, Scotland, Aug. 19 (UPI) -- A drunken gatecrasher at a black-tie ball has been convicted of assault after he head-butted an organizer of the Portree, Scotland, event.

Angus MacQueen, 34, was found guilty in Portree Sheriff Court of assault after he forced his way into the Skye Ball at the Sky Gathering Hall and head-butted organizer Alasdair Hilleary, 54, on his nose, The (Glasgow) Daily Record reported.

Hilleary told the court MacQueen "seemed to be spoiling for a fight."

"The head-butt caused quite a lot of blood but did not break my nose. I did not need medical attention. I stood my ground and did not respond," he said.

Bride and groom arrested at reception

LAKESIDE, Mich., Aug. 19 (UPI) -- A wedding reception in Lakeside, Mich., ended with the bride and groom spending the night in separate jail cells after a melee, police said.

Investigators said Andy Somora, 29, and Anna Pastuszwska, 28, both formerly of Chicago, were shocked with police stun guns and arrested at the July 19 reception at Burnison Galleries after police officers from 14 departments were called to calm things down, the Chicago Sun-Times reported.

"The short version of the story is they didn't want to quit their partying," said Mike Sepic, Berrien County's chief assistant prosecutor. "If you put this in the class of wedding receptions gone bad, I guess this would take the cake."

Somora's father, uncle, aunt and cousin also were arrested.

Somora pleaded guilty late last month to a felony charge of resisting and obstructing police. The groom, who also was charged with disturbing the peace, could face imprisonment at his Sept. 15 sentencing for the felony charge.

Pastuszwska pleaded guilty to a reduced charge after she was initially accused of resisting and obstructing. She was fined $600.