"It's over your head now. Time to get some professional help," one fortune read.
The new messages are from the self-proclaimed largest fortune cookie maker in the country, Wonton Food, which distributes some 4.5 million morsels of Chinese wisdom every day, The New York Times reported.
Karyn Turnbull, 33, of Austin, Texas, said her fiancee received a fortune warning "today is a disastrous day," as they celebrated their engagement.
He later laughed that if he had received that fortune earlier, he may not have proposed, the Times said.
Another customer who got the foreboding message wrote on a blog: "I shot the audacious baked item a dirty look and proceeded to eat it. And I hope it hurt."
Vice President of Wonton Foods Derrick Wong said the new fortunes are a result of an effort by a team of free-lance writers to come up with something new.
"It's very hard to come up with more fortunes," Wong told the Times.
The company gained notoriety in 2005 when lucky number sequences on the back of fortunes won 110 people $19 million in the Powerball lottery.