Jockstrip: The world as we know it.

Warning: Don't try this at home

ST. PAUL, Minn., Aug. 7 (UPI) -- A Minnesota man has learned an important lesson: If you want your testicles removed, leave it to the professionals.

St. Paul police are looking for two or three people Russell Daniel Angus hired to remove his testicles a couple of weeks ago after medical professionals refused to do it, the Star Tribune in Minneapolis reported Tuesday. The 62-year-old man, whose testicles were causing him chronic pain, had the procedure done in a makeshift operating room in his home.

According to authorities, Angus was unconscious during the surgery but awoke to find himself bleeding profusely from the groin area and those responsible gone, the Minneapolis newspaper reported. He called his daughter and she, in turn, called for help.

Angus isn't telling police who the mystery surgeons are because he doesn't want them to get in trouble. His wife only told police her husband spends a lot of time on the Internet and their daughter told them she didn't want them searching his house. Police had to get a search warrant to look through the home.

"I have never in my life seen anything quite like that," St. Paul police spokesman Tom Walsh said.

Sale of domain name leads to trouble.com

SHEBOYGAN, Wis., Aug. 7 (UPI) -- A Wisconsin man may spend the next five years of his life in jail for allegedly selling his company's domain name, sofa.com, without permission.

The Sheboygan (Wis.) Press reported Tuesday that Stephen M. Galstad has been charged with selling the rights to sofa.com for $200,000, along with additional charges that he used company funds to vacation with his "stripper" girlfriend.

A lawyer for the 41-year-old has countered those charges by alleging Galstad had been given ownership rights to Dinesen's Leather Only's domain name by the company's deceased founder.

Unfortunately for Galstad, there is no official documentation for such a legal transaction and therefore he now faces jail time and a maximum fine of $25,000.

The Press said the additional charges involved international trips that Galstad went on with a girlfriend, who has been identified as a stripper, allegedly funded through company credit cards.

Police suspect chooses bad hiding spot

GOODLETTSVILLE, Tenn., Aug. 7 (UPI) -- A 20-year-old Tennessee man is in police custody after allegedly attempting to hide in a restaurant's ceiling, but it could not hold his weight.

The Nashville Tennessean said Tuesday that Douglas Perez Buntin of Goodlettsville was arrested last weekend after he allegedly hid in the ceiling of a local Wendy's restaurant, only to then come crashing through it as police searched for him.

Goodlettsville police alleged that after attempting to stop Buntin for speeding on Sunday night, the man stopped his car and fled into a nearby restaurant.

Buntin allegedly managed to climb into the restaurant's ceiling through a woman's restroom and attempted to hide there while officers continued their search.

But the ceiling eventually gave way and the suspect crashed to the floor, police said.

Buntin's alleged attempt to hide not only ended with him in custody, but resulted in his facing a felony vandalism charge for damages caused to the eatery, the Tennessean said.

Escaped zoo monkey recaptured

TUPELO, Miss., Aug. 7 (UPI) -- A white-faced capuchin monkey that escaped from the Tupelo Buffalo Park and Zoo in Tupelo, Miss., has been found and returned to his pen.

Oliver the monkey was spotted by a motorist Monday morning, nearly a week after he unlocked his cage and went on the run July 31, the Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal in Tupelo reported Tuesday.

Mike Fair said he saw "the little bitty ol' monkey" as he was driving to work with his son and a friend Monday morning.

"We pulled over," Fair said, "and he took off to the edge of the woods, and that's when we called 911."

The three men joined in the hunt for Oliver when park officials and Tupelo firefighters arrived at the scene.

"We are just happy he is home," said park manager Kirk Nemecheck. "He's a smart little monkey, and I know he can take care of himself, but my biggest fear was that he would be hit by a car."