Jockstrip: The world as we know it

Blair ignores Chirac's vinous gifts

LONDON, July 26 (UPI) -- British Prime Minister Tony Blair has refused to ransom four lots of wine, gifts from French President Jacques Chirac, a report says.

The Times of London said there are several possible reasons for Blair ignoring the wine, which remains in government custody.

One is frugality. Under British rules, government officials must pay the cost of gifts they receive if they want them for personal use. Three years ago, when Blair did take possession of a half-case of 1989 Chateau Mouton Rothschild Chirac sent him as a 50th birthday present, it set him back 1,000 pounds or about $1,840.

Then again, Blair and Chirac do not get on very well, with disagreements on everything from European agricultural subsidies to the Iraq war. Blair is also not a big fan of French wine, preferring Chianti, The Times said.

Blair did ransom a lead crystal vase from former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi as well as coins from Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Blair's putative successor and chancellor of the exchequer, the stingy Gordon Brown, has accepted only one gift. That was a pedal-powered child-sized red Ferrari from former Italian Finance Minister Giulio Tremonti.

Club-wielding chimp sought in California

THOUSAND OAKS, Calif., July 26 (UPI) -- A chimpanzee emulating Tarzan's buddy, Cheetah, was spotted in a Thousand Oaks, Calif., neighborhood.

The Ventura County Sheriff's Department received a call Monday morning about a club-wielding chimp roaming the neighborhood, the Ventura County Star reported Tuesday.

By the time state Department of Game and Fish workers arrived, the chimp was no where to be found, authorities said.

Since permits are required to have chimps in California, state workers were going through paper work looking for licensees to see if anyone was missing a hairy companion.

Firefighter delivers his own twins

FORT WORTH, Texas, July 26 (UPI) -- A firefighter in Fort Worth, Texas got his chance to supervise a delivery -- of his own twin sons.

Cary Patterson rushed home when his wife, Sheila, called him to say "something's not right," the Fort Worth (Texas) Star-Telegram reported. Ten minutes later, she called back to report an unpleasant stomach cramp was clearly contractions.

When Patterson reached his home, his wife was ready to go to the hospital but said she wanted to use the bathroom first. A few seconds later, he heard her scream.

Patterson helped deliver Christian then called 911. Fifteen minutes later, Colton arrived.

By the time the ambulance reached the house, both boys were born.

Patterson had received training in birthing babies, but it was his first time using that knowledge.

Dogs may be welcome at sidewalk cafes

CHICAGO, July 26 (UPI) -- The Chicago City Council is expected to debate a proposed ordinance to allow pet dogs to join their owners at the city's many outdoor cafes.

Florida and several municipalities already allow canines to dine al fresco accompanied by their owners at restaurant sidewalk cafes and Chicago's 600,000 dogs could soon join them, the Chicago Sun-Times reports.

The ordinance, expected to be introduced Wednesday, is part of comprehensive legislation intended to crackdown on irresponsible pet ownership. Other changes would require pets get microchips for identification purposes, limit how long a dog could be tethered and authorize stiff fines for owners who let their animals roam free.

Standards would also be increased for pet grooming, boarding and day-care facilities.