Watercooler Stories

Judge signs order against scribbles

DECATUR, Miss., March 15 (UPI) -- Sloppy signatures could get lawyers in trouble in a Mississippi court after a judge warned against illegible "John Hancocks."

Judge Marcus D. Gordon of the state's Eighth Circuit Court issued an order Feb. 3 stating court clerks would toss any pleadings or motions in which the signature is undistinguishable. Gordon said illegible signatures on court pleadings and motions violate Rule 11, Mississippi Rules of Court.

A copy of the order is published on the thesmokinggun.com. At the bottom of the order is the judge's signature.

It is illegible.

'I Quit' platform is out of a nickname

NEW ORLEANS, March 15 (UPI) -- Members of the "I Quit" ticket -- running on a platform to reform the Orleans (La.) Parish assessor's office -- must change their names on the ballot.

A judge ruled Tuesday the name "I.Q." isn't allowed on the ballot, saying it violates election laws barring a designation.

The New Orleans Times-Picayune reports Chase "I.Q." Jones is allowed to stay on the April 22 primary ballot where he and another candidate are trying to unseat 4th District Assessor Betty Jefferson.

Another judge was expected to rule Wednesday whether Ron "I.Q." Mazier could keep the nickname in his fight to defeat 5th District Assessor Tom Arnold.

The decision will probably be appealed, possibly to the state Supreme Court.

Seven candidates are listed on the "I Quit" ticket. They pledge to refuse the $90,000 annual salary, consolidate the assessor's office and then resign.

'Many of our compatriots are morons'

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla., March 15 (UPI) -- A motorist, apparently frustrated that Fort Lauderdale, Fla., traffic would not let her merge onto a highway, rammed six cars to get through, a report said.

Unfortunately for Suze Telfort, 26, of Sunrise, Fla., one of the cars she smashed Tuesday belonged to a retired insurance adjustor, who began chasing her.

She was arrested by an FBI agent who happened to hear the call and joined the chase that ended when Telfort and her green Toyota got stuck in traffic again, The Miami Herald reported.

Telfort was being held in the Broward County, Fla., jail on charges of leaving the scene of an accident.

"Bad behavior by others doesn't entitle you to invent your own behavior," ethicist Kenneth Goodman of the University of Miami told the newspaper.

"Civil society sometimes requires we take a deep breath, recognize many of our compatriots are morons, and press on with grace and dignity," Goodman said. "It can make you nuts, but that's what civilization requires."

Second German code cracked by thousands

LONDON, March 15 (UPI) -- A British-based worldwide network of code-breaking enthusiasts' computers has cracked the second World War II Enigma-generated code used by the Nazis.

Three unsolved messages from 1942 were unearthed by amateur historian Ralph Erskine, who submitted them to a cryptology journal in 1995 as a challenge for code-breakers. Out of that grew the M4 Project, which harnesses the processing power of thousands of volunteers' home computers, the BBC said.

The first code was cracked Feb. 20, and was confirmed as a message from the commander of a German U-boat. The second resolved code is a naval status report and confirmation of position.

German enthusiast Stephan Krah wrote the M4 Project software and on the M4 Web site said efforts would now shift back to the last message, which was actually the first of the three original submissions.