Jockstrip: The world as we know it

Man uses walker to drag trophy buck

IPSWICH, S.D., Dec. 30 (UPI) -- A South Dakota veterinarian and bow-hunting enthusiast with two artificial legs used his walker to drag a record-breaking buck to a clearing.

"I knew there was a big coyote around, and I didn't want the buck to get chewed up," Dr. Dave Myers told the Aberdeen American News. "It took me about 25 minutes to drag him out with my walker. I was inching him a little bit at a time. But I paid for it, because my legs and back were stiff and sore for days."

Myers and some other hunters had been tracking the massive buck, estimated to be 6 years old, for several years. The buck weighed 290 pounds.

"I have been hunting all of my life, and this guy was so impressive," Myers said. "He had been hunted hard for the last few years, and I don't think he even came within rifle range of anyone before. A lot of luck goes into getting a buck like this, and I was very fortunate."

Telemarketer saves man's life

SARASOTA SPRINGS, N.Y., Dec. 30 (UPI) -- A telemarketer called to offer an Illinois man a mortgage and wound up tossing him a lifeline instead.

Crystal Rozelle, a Consumer Direct Marketing loan assistant in Saratoga Springs, N.Y., called Stanley Bauch, of Ridott, Ill., an 85-year-old cancer patient, in what turned out to be anything but routine.

Authorities said Bauch fell while carrying groceries outside his home and could not get up. He managed to crawl inside but could not get his phone to call out.

Rozelle somehow managed to get her call in -- 17 hours after the fall -- and a weakened Bauch told her his condition. Saratoga Springs police were able to contact police in Ridott.

Sheriff's Sgt. Shan MacAdam told the Glens Falls Post-Star said that the phones in Bauch's home appeared dead and it was a mystery how anyone could have called in.

"That's fate man," he said. "That is fate."

Woman has to get declared undead

MERILLVILLE, Ind., Dec. 30 (UPI) -- An Indiana woman discovered five days before Christmas that the company that pays her pension believed she had been dead for a month.

Mary Krainovich had only $25 in her account because the bank had returned her last pension check. She had to abandon Christmas shopping until the mess was straightened out a week later.

"They still have no idea how or why they did this," she told the Northwest Indiana Times. "It's scary."

Krainovich receives a pension handled by the U.S. Office of Personnel Management that her late husband earned as a postal worker.

She told the newspaper that in spite of the mix-up and thanks to her children she had a "wonderful" Christmas.

TV stardom has blown Miami cop's cover

MIAMI, Dec. 30 (UPI) -- Television stardom has blown the cover of Miami's most famous real-life police officer.

Lt. Joe Schillaci is still on duty with the Miami Police Department but he has trouble with undercover jobs and stakeouts because he's always being recognized, the Miami Herald says.

Schillaci became the break-out star of an A&E Television reality show - "The First 48" -- about homicide detectives. It tracked detectives for the first 48 hours after an apparent murder, watching them try to find the killer.

Schillaci attracted a following, with viewers gushing over each episode on A&E's online bulletin boards. His run on "The First 48" ended this fall when he was promoted to lieutenant and transferred back to his old undercover unit.

This time, he's taking a camera along, hoping to film a pilot for a TV series about, what else, undercover cops.