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Jockstrip: The world as we know it

By United Press International
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Test drive ends with car in swimming pool

BELLEVUE, Wash., Dec. 29 (UPI) -- A test drive of a used car in Washington state got a little cold and wet after the prospective buyer crashed it into a pool.

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A 20-year-old woman mistook the gas pedal for the brake of a 1988 Buick Riviera she was thinking of buying, the Seattle Times reports.

The woman accidentally took the car over a curb and a telephone utility box, alongside two trees, through two fences and into the pool at the Racquet Club Estates in Bellevue, where the seller lived.

Firefighters rescued the woman and took her to the Overlake Hospital Medical Center for hypothermia.

A tow truck was needed to get the car out and the owner doesn't want to talk about it.


Family sues cemetery over lost remains

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CHICAGO, Dec. 29 (UPI) -- The family of a man buried in a Chicago cemetery in 1981 is suing the cemetery after officials allegedly lost his remains.

George Erhardt's sons have filed a suit against the Bohemian National Cemetery after two years of waiting for answers, the Chicago Sun-Times reports.

Their mother, Delores, died in 2003 and was supposed to be laid to rest next to her husband in the cemetery's Marble Room.

George's remains aren't there though.

Cemetery official Phil Roux said he will investigate but had no comment on the lawsuit.

Erhardt family attorney Frank Pirruccello said the cemetery hasn't answered any questions about George Erhardt's remains except confirming where his remains are supposed to be.

The suit asks for unspecified damages.


Irish jockey celebrates win prematurely

DUBLIN, Ireland, Dec. 29 (UPI) -- A jockey in Ireland has been suspended for mistakenly standing up in the stirrups and celebrating his win 80 yards short of the finish line.

Roger Loughran, 26, was aboard Central House at the Leopardstown racecourse near Dublin Tuesday when he made the gaffe, The Guardian reported.

Loughran had mistaken the end of a running rail for the winning post, and as he eased up on Central House, two other horses galloped past and left him to third place.

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The packed grandstand fell silent, and while there were a few catcalls, there was more sympathy than anger for Loughran, who thought he had won his first professional race.

Dessie Hughes, the trainer of Central House refused to criticize Loughran.

"The owners still have their horse, and there are plenty more races for him, and Roger will keep the ride," he said.

However, racing stewards suspended Loughran for 14 racing days for inattention.


U.S. misery index hits 92 percent

CHICAGO, Dec. 29 (UPI) -- U.S. residents have gotten more miserable, a University of Chicago poll concludes, with 92 percent reporting problems with illness and affording medical care.

Unemployment, pressure to pay bills and unstable romantic relationships also were sited as issues in the first follow-up of the survey last taken in 1991, when 88 percent of U.S. residents said they had experienced at least one miserable life event.

"Those events are associated with and apparently lead to depression and anxiety as well as physical illnesses, such as heart attacks and increased infections," said study author Tom Smith, who is director of the larger General Social Survey.

"Essentially, since experiencing more negative events makes individuals less well off, then, in the aggregate, having more individuals suffering more negative events means society is less well-off," Smith said.

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On the bright side, the 1,340 people interviewed for the survey reported fewer problems with the law, civil lawsuits, infertility and going without a car for a month or longer.

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