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Jockstrip: The world as we know it

By United Press International
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Woman's stomach pain was actually triplets

BOLTON, England, Sept. 13 (UPI) -- A nauseous British woman diagnosed with food poisoning turned out to be carrying three healthy and active triplets around, the Daily Mail reports.

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Lorraine Gordon, 29, said she had just got back from a weeklong trip to Spain last October when she was overwhelmed by nausea. Her doctor gave her antibiotics, but two days later she collapsed and was rushed to the hospital in Bolton.

Suspicious of her high hormone levels, doctors ordered an ultrasound, and the threefold pregnancy was discovered. Gordon said multiple births run in her and her husband Ian's families, and said she had not taken any fertility drugs.

She said her stomach grew to such a size she could no longer get in and out of a car without great difficulty and couldn't sit in a bathtub.

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However, the healthy triplets -- two boys and a girl -- were delivered by Caesarean section in May, and Gordon says that's all the family she's planning to have.


Katrina costs grandma her job

MOUNT VERNON, Mo., Sept. 13 (UPI) -- A Missouri woman became a victim of Hurricane Katrina when she skipped work to care for her granddaughter after her daughter was stranded in New Orleans.

The Kansas City Star reports that Barbara Roberts of Mount Vernon expected only to have the little girl for the weekend while her daughter and son-in-law made a quick business trip to New Orleans. But Chris Hardin and Tina Roberts of Columbia ended up trapped for days when flights were canceled and the city was cut off.

Roberts could not find anyone to care for 18-month-old Trisana while she returned to her job at the Positronic factory in Mount Vernon. She knew that she had used up her allowed days off and was likely to be fired, which happened when she returned to work last week.

"Any grandmother worth anything would have stayed with their granddaughter until the time the parents might be lucky enough to return home safely," Hardin said.

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IRS allegedly falls for imposter again

HONOLULU, Sept. 13 (UPI) -- A 62-year-old cafeteria worker is under investigation for allegedly posing as a Hawaiian heiress to obtain $2.1 million federal tax refund.

If the allegations are true, it is the second tax year in a row that Abigail Roberts has received a refund check from the Internal Revenue Service by using the Social Security number of Campbell Estate heiress Abigail K. Kawananakoa, the Honolulu Star-Bulletin reported.

The IRS sued the Chester, Pa. cafeteria worker in March 2004 for using the same Social Security number to obtain Kawananakoa's $2.1 million refund check for the 2003 tax year.

A federal judge in Pennsylvania found that Roberts owes the United States an unidentified balance of the $2.1 million the government was unable to recover. However, the judge denied the IRS's request for a permanent court injunction to prevent Roberts from using the Social Security number again.

In an interview Friday with the Star-Bulletin, Roberts said she used the same Social Security number again on her 2004 tax return.


School to help men who aren't finished

ABERDEENSHIRE, Scotland, Sept. 13 (UPI) -- The first finishing school for men plans to educate them in three days on fine food and wine, first aid, self defense, wardrobe and clay pigeon shooting.

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For about $800, men will spend three days at Lickleyhead Castle in Scotland's rural Aberdeenshire district. Among the skills that will be taught are how to play chess, public speaking, etiquette and even how to carve a roast, The Independent reported.

"Many men are expected to be able to do it but can't carve well at all," said one of the school's founders, Diana Mather. "It is possible to absolutely ruin a nice joint of meat with really bad carving."

The men will learn about cutlery settings, and what may be eaten with fingers, and what may not. Basic wine appreciation and an ability to mix cocktails is important, Mather said, and a small man should never wear a long jacket or baggy trousers.

In between the theory, the men will also be instructed in dancing, playing bridge, golf, fly-fishing and ironing shirts.

"We are teaching life's essentials," Mather said.

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