Jockstrip: The world as we know it

Operatic tenor literally brings house down

COPENHAGEN, Denmark, April 7 (UPI) -- A British tenor singing at the Copenhagen Opera House was recovering Thursday after bringing the house down on top of him in a crash of scenery.

David Rendall was performing the role of the Egyptian prince, Radames, in Verdi's "Aida" Tuesday night when the paper-mache ceiling of a stage crypt toppled onto him, the Copenhagen Post reported.

"Rendall was standing there all alone and in complete darkness holding a lit candle, when he noticed that the ceiling was coming down," said Michael Christiansen, director of the theater. "He let out a scream of alarm, which led to rumors that he had been hurt."

However, Rendall was not injured, but was so shaken he was unable to continue the performance.

The newspaper said the 1,500 audience members will not get their tickets refunded, as the theater felt they had gotten what they paid for, admittedly with an unexpected finale.

British poet wrestles with rhyming Camilla

LONDON, April 7 (UPI) -- Britain's poet laureate, Andrew Motion, is in a royal wedding dilemma trying to craft a commemorative poem with a non-offensive rhyme for Camilla.

None of the obvious words, such as vanilla, flotilla or Godzilla are appropriate, as Motion has pledged never to "mock, deride or criticize" the royal family in his poetry, the New York Times said.

Motion declined to be interviewed on how his poem was coming along, but said it would be published Saturday, the day of Prince Charles' and Camilla Parker Bowles' London civil wedding.

Since his appointment in 1999, the laureate has praised Queen Elizabeth for "50 years of steadiness through change," and wrote Princess Margaret died knowing "love and duty speak two languages."

Among poetic peers and critics however, Motion's work appears predestined for mediocrity.

"Every single time, it's an impossible job," said The Times Literary Supplement editor Robert Potts. "One's not entirely clear why anyone bothers to do it."

Fake money goes long way in Norway

OSLO, Norway, April 7 (UPI) -- Norwegian authorities are trying to figure out how a little girl managed to buy groceries with some obviously counterfeit money.

The ruse was only discovered after the bill, which grocery store tellers did not notice as phony, was rejected by a money counting machine, Aftenposten reported Thursday.

The bill, supposedly worth the equivalent of about $15, was so poorly done it did not have the usual "100 kroner" on it but rather "100 spenn," officials said.

"We spoke to the girl's father and he was very surprised. He said he had had the bogus note in his wallet for a while, and didn't know where it came from," a detective said.

Scots question cost of NYC kilt-fest

NEW YORK, April 7 (UPI) -- While Tartan Day celebrations brought out New York City's high society in kilts, some Scots are questioning the cost of sending politicians to the bash.

Tartan Day is marked annually in the United States in recognition of "the outstanding contribution of millions of Scots-Americans to our great nation," and the "Dressed to Kilt" fashion show was the pinnacle of the event Wednesday night at the Copacabana Club.

The Scotsman reported eight Scottish politicians also attended at a cost of $180,000, which frugal Scottish Nationalist Member of Parliament Alex Neil said was a bad investment.

"I think it is bordering on becoming a big jolly," Neil said. "We have not really seen the tangible benefits we should have seen from previous Tartan weeks."

Among the U.S. celbrities in attendance were media mogul Ted Turner and "Sex and the City" star Kyle MacLachlan, who both sported traditional Scottish dress.