Jockstrip: The world as we know it

Pre-school McDonalds sparks McRage

AIRDRIE, Scotland, March 24 (UPI) -- A pre-school in Scotland that set up a "training version" of a McDonald's has come under fire by politicians and nutritionists, The Sun reported Thursday.

In addition to ordering mock burgers, fries and shakes with food boxes and napkins provided by McDonalds, the youngsters at Croft Park Nursery were also taken on a field trip to a real outlet in Airdrie.

The timing infuriated Member of Parliament Shona Robson, as it came just days before the Scottish Executive launched a healthy eating initiative aimed at children under five.

"At a time when we are trying to work on children's health it seems utterly ridiculous that children would be encouraged to use McDonalds," she said. "We have a real obesity crisis on our hands and we need to try and get them to eat a healthier diet."

But nursery manager Jillian McCullagh said that was the whole idea.

"We wanted to show them that there are now healthier options available, to let the children see that when they go to McDonalds that there is food healthier than burgers and chips," McCullagh said.

Man pays $150 to rescue 15-pound lobster

WASHINGTON, March 24 (UPI) -- An enormous 15-pound lobster was homeward bound to Massachusetts waters from Washington Thursday after a man paid $150 to save it from boiling water.

The creature arrived at Jeff Grolig's River Falls Seafood Co. three weeks ago. He expected to sell the $120 crustacean quickly at a good profit, but instead, many of his customers were angry or disgusted, the Washington Post said Thursday.

One customer who asked not be identified paid Grolig $150 for the lobster, estimated to be between 35 and 40 years old. He also paid to have the creature trucked back for release off Massachusetts.

The lobster was wrapped in 20 pounds of seaweed and sent by truck to Boston, where it will be kept in a seafood warehouse until being released Friday or Saturday.

"I've never had a lobster that big at this store before, and I won't have one that big again," Grolig said.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals said it receives so many calls on the topic each week, they launched the Web site Lobsterlib.com, with advice on the safest way to transport the animals back to the wild.

Detroit cop chops protest locks

DETROIT, March 24 (UPI) -- A top Detroit cop was ordered to cut the 10-plus inches of hair he grew in protest of the city's failure to reach a contract agreement with his union.

Marty Bandemer, who has presided over the Detroit Police Officers Association for seven years, received a written order from the city's assistant police chief that he had to chop his locks to have a "neat, clean and orderly appearance."

Bandemer filed a grievance with the union office then had his hair trimmed at 1 p.m. Wednesday, the Detroit Free Press said Thursday.

Bandemer told Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick in January 2004 that he would not cut his hair until the city negotiated a contract with the 2,800-member union.

Both sides have been participating in arbitration, which is binding in Detroit, over a contract to replace the most recent, which expired June 30.

Bandemer donated his hair more than 10 inches of blond hair to the Locks of Love program for kids with cancer.

Wild turkey raids kitchen

CARNEGIE, Pa., March 24 (UPI) -- A western Pennsylvania woman got a shock this week when a wild turkey crashed into her kitchen, punching out a window frame, glass and all.

"It sounded like the whole entire wall had come down," Suzan Barefoot told the Pittsburgh Tribune Review.

When she saw the turkey, Barefoot shut herself into her bedroom and called the Carnegie Police Department.

Barefoot said she could hear the turkey "flopping around." But when officers Michael Dorsch and Mark Samangy arrived the bird was nowhere to be seen.

Dorsch, an experienced and enthusiastic hunter, made some turkey calls and the bird emerged from its hiding place behind the television. The police officers encouraged the turkey to leave and it ran off into the woods.

"We didn't harm the turkey at all, and there were no injuries," Samangy told the newspaper. "Thank God for my partner."