Jockstrip: The world as we know it

Christmas barred from holiday parade

DENVER, Dec. 2 (UPI) -- Christmas has been banned from Denver's annual holiday parade, KMGH-TV reported Thursday.

Organizers say Saturday's Parade of Lights is about all holidays -- not just Christmas -- so they've banned church groups, signs saying "Merry Christmas" and Christmas carols.

It's a new rule this year -- in the past, marching bands have played carols and there was even a balloon that said "Merry Christmas," the TV news said.

But when the Faith Bible Chapel offered to sponsor or build a float and sing carols in this year's parade, organizers said nay, claiming it would be offensive.

"This event is not one that has ever intended to have a religious message or a political message," Susan Rogers of the Downtown Denver Partnership said.

Several church groups say they will march in a peaceful protest an hour before the parade, sing their carols and pass out hot chocolate.

The political correctness of the season will go step further next year, when the "Merry Christmas" sign on the Denver City and County Building is replaced with one saying "Happy Holidays."

Police track snow prints to suspect

BOISE, Idaho, Dec. 2 (UPI) -- Police tracked footprints in the snow straight to a man suspected of stealing a wallet at gunpoint, KTVB-TV, Boise, reported Thursday.

Police called to the scene by the victim Wednesday night used a police dog to track the suspect's footprints to a truck parked nearby.

They then traced the license plate on the truck to the home of Brandon Caselano, where they found snowy footprints matching those at the crime scene, the TV news said.

Caselano was arrested coming out of his house and charged with a felony count of robbery. The victim's wallet was recovered.

Jackpot winner unlucky with law

CHARLESTON, W.Va., Dec. 2 (UPI) -- West Virginia's Powerball jackpot winner Jack Whittaker wasn't lucky with police who took him to jail for allegedly driving under the influence of alcohol.

The 57-year-old Charleston resident, who won $315 million on Christmas Day 2002, making him the largest single jackpot winner in history, also was cited for carrying a concealed weapon without a license, the Charleston Daily Mail reported.

Other charges included failure to maintain control of his vehicle and failure to submit to a Breathalyzer test, the report said.

West Virginia state troopers arrested Whittaker Tuesday night after his Hummer struck a concrete median, authorities said. They said his vehicle had struck a toll both earlier.

Whittaker was reportedly carrying about $117,000 in cash when he was arrested in Beckley. The money was returned to his daughter who came to see him at a hospital where he was taken for treatment of back pain.

No hearing date has been set for him on the various charges.

Man leads police on slow speed chase

MARISSA, Ill., Dec. 2 (UPI) -- A tractor-driving Illinois man is facing a host of charges for leading police on a slow-speed chase, it was reported Thursday.

"It's certainly a weird case," a Clair County sheriff's official told the Bellville News-Democrat.

It began last week when a deputy found a smashed 1996 Chevy in a ditch near Marissa. He tracked the plate and went to the owner's home, but no one was there.

When the deputy returned, he found Randall Jenkins, trying to pull the car out of the ditch with a tractor. The two talked, and Jenkins denied he was driving the car when it plowed into a power pole, police said.

The deputy -- who said he smelled alcohol on the suspect's breath -- went back to his car and ran Jenkins through the computer and found his license had been revoked.

Jenkins ran back to his tractor and took off down the road with the deputy in not-so-hot pursuit. The "chase" ended at a nearby farm where Jenkins was arrested for driving under the influence, police said.

The deputy found a dying kitten in Jenkins' shirt pocket and was told it was injured in the earlier crash. Jenkins was jailed and it was unknown what happened to the kitten.