Watercooler Stories

Comedian criticized for Clay Aiken joke

NEW YORK, Nov. 3 (UPI) -- Comedian Dan Whitney, or Larry the Cable Guy, is under fire from legions of Clay Aiken fans for a joke he told on "The View."

Whitney, star of The WB's "Blue Collar TV," has been assailed with angry e-mails from the "American Idol" runner-up's fans, the New York Daily News reported Wednesday.

"I'll probably have the whole fan club e-mailing me," Whitney told the newspaper. "That's bound to happen when you put me on a show like (The View)," he said. "That's not my market. My market is not the politically correct soccer moms. And that's pretty much whose watching 'The View.'"

As for the joke itself, "I said I was on the Clay Aiken diet. That's where you pop in a Clay Aiken CD and try to keep food down," he said.

"I mean, is someone actually sitting at home bent out of shape because I did a joke about Clay Aiken," he asked incredulously. "It's like, all the crap goin' on in the world and that's what floats your ... boat."

Science finds best time for love and labor

LONDON, Nov. 3 (UPI) -- A British scientist says late mornings are best for thinking, late afternoons for exercise, evenings for boozing and late nights for sex.

Russell Foster, a professor of molecular biology at Imperial College London, reached the conclusions after studying the human body's natural or circadian rhythms.

Levels of cortisol, a hormone related to stress but which can help mind function, rise rapidly between 6 and 8 a.m., he said.

It is not until 10 a.m. or 11 a.m. when heart rate and blood pressure have "warmed up," that the ability to concentrate and solve problems is at its peak.

The best time to enjoy a drink turns out to be between 7 p.m. and 8 p.m. when the liver is at its most active in detoxifying the body.

Libido tends to peak between 10 p.m. and 1 a.m., though that may be more cultural than anything.

Foster does say, however, that ovulation typically occurs at midnight, which means late at night is also the best time to conceive.

Company makes shark-repelling surfboards

MELBOURNE, Nov. 3 (UPI) -- A shark-repelling surfboard will soon be available in parts of Australia, the Australian Broadcasting Corp. reported Wednesday.

Seachange Technology Ltd., a South Australian-based company, has designed and manufactured surfboards that emit an electric field around the board. The field is designed to cause muscle spasms in sharks.

Helena Westcombe-Down, the company's head, told the ABC tests show the sharks suffer discomfort and retreat from the surfboard.

"We've done a lot of tests both in South Africa and also on the western coast of South Australia, two areas that are very renowned for big great white [sharks] so we've done a lot of testing against great whites," she said.

Jimmy Breslin writes last Newsday column

NEW YORK, Nov. 3 (UPI) -- New York Newsday columnist Jimmy Breslin abruptly ended his career Election Day with a piece that wrongly called the election for John Kerry.

Newsday published Breslin's final installment Tuesday, with a tagline at the bottom of the column: "This is Jimmy Breslin's last regular column for Newsday. He will write from time to time."

Breslin, 75, who wrote three columns a week for Newsday, went out announcing a definitive Kerry win, a position Breslin reportedly has touted regularly in his column since last spring.

Breslin wrote a Kerry win was inevitable.

"When I figured in the people shocked by the dead bodies of young Americans in Iraq, and brutalized here by unemployment, there was no way to make the election seem close. I said this in this newspaper several times," Breslin wrote.

"Each time as I was typing, the words of the late great Harry (Champ) Segal kept shouting in my ear: 'Go naked on this one!'"