Accept your invite to 'Barbra's Wedding'

NEW YORK, April 7 (UPI) -- How would you feel if your next-door neighbor, Barbra Streisand, was getting married and you weren't invited to the wedding?

That's the situation in a nutshell in the nuttiest play of the season, "Barbra's Wedding," at the Off-Broadway West Side Theater. The film star's Malibu neighbor is Jerry Schiff, and he's driving his wife Molly crazy with his jealousy on the day of Streisand's wedding to James Brolin as the curtain goes up on the two-character, 80-minute intermissionless play.

Schiff is a failed actor whose only income is on paper in the form of the increased value of his small property as neighboring properties are sold to movie stars like Streisand. He lives on his wife's salary as a librarian and is so desperate financially that he may even go to work for his father's concrete business, a fate he considers worse than death.

As a non-celebrity, Schiff can't really expect to be invited to the Streisand-Brolin nuptials. But the event has forced him to face up to the fact that he is a anonymous loser in a celebrity society, and it's driving him up the wall to listen to the press helicopters droning overhead and to watch Maury Povich broadcasting live from the Schiff's own front yard.

Schiff has binoculars, and he's watching every celebrity arrival from his living room window, all the while supplying a hysterical commentary that reflects his insane jealousy of the rich and famous. Is that Jackie Mason or James Caan? Why is Povich wearing shorts when he should be wearing black tie? Yet for all his interest in celebrities, Schiff is totally self-absorbed.

He reveals that when he made his morning run, he tried without success to get the attention of the paparazzi by cutting out most of his usual route to make himself seem super-speedy. In his anger he calls the police to complain about being disturbed by the noise and Povich's trespass, but he refuses to give his name so that no one will know he is an uninvited neighbor.

Molly Schiff, obviously a long-suffering wife, makes an effort to ignore her husband's mounting wrath by preparing a complicated recipe for coulibiac, a fish pie, she has decided to try for lunch. The dish turns out to be a disaster, which only adds to her husband's irritation and leads to talk of divorce. This results in feelings of guilt, reconciliation, and a mock repetition of their marriage vows that nicely mirrors the ceremony going on next door.

"Barbra's Wedding" is a first effort at playwriting by Malibu-based actor Daniel Stern (star of ABC's new comedy series, "Regular Joe') and it is generally funny even if the humor isn't always inspired. David Warren's crisp direction keeps the action from sagging, even when it becomes predictable, and the play moves along at a goodly pace, propelled by waves of hearty laughter.

Stern is fortunate in having two veteran actors of versatile accomplishment, John Pankow and Julie White, as his cast. Pankow is as funny as the proverbial crutch, and Julie White is mistress of the double take. They play off of each other in a most delightful way, bringing a fresh comic sense to the threadbare theatrical battle of the sexes. If you are invited to "Barbra's Wedding," accept the invitation.

Neil Patel's living room set is something Streisand, with her taste for antiques and art, would definitely rate a dump, and David C. Woolard's costumes wouldn't win any fashion prizes. The Shiffs should definitely take advantage of the first big offer on their real estate and improve their lives now that their marriage has been saved by Barbra's wedding.