Jockstrip: The world as we know it

THINGS WE DON'T UNDERSTAND

Two Democratic state senators in New York want to make sure condoms join Bibles as regular features in hotels, motels and inns.

The New York Post says Sens. Velmanette Montgomery and Carl Andrews introduced the legislation in an effort to fight AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases.

"You know hotel and motel gift shops sell toothpaste and they often have vending machines for those little 'oodles of noodles,' so why not condoms?" Andrews told The Post.

"There are better ways to raise public awareness about AIDS than to have the state make hotels put chocolates on the pillows and condoms underneath them," said John McArdle, spokesman for Senate Majority Leader Joseph Bruno, told the paper.

NEWS OF OTHER LIFE FORMS

Some 600 rare animals, including exotic snakes, reptiles and hedgehogs, were found frozen to death after they arrived in Zurich on an Air France flight from Madagascar.

The Zurich Reptile Center and the Zurich Zoo had imported the animals and the reptile center is threatening to sue.

"It is not about the money we lost in the death of these animals," Robert Zengg, curator of Zurich Zoo told United Press International. We are concerned about what happened to these animals during the flight. What really went wrong?"

The reptile center director said he had not received any apology from Air France but had received an e-mail message suggesting the damage to the animals occurred during the 3 1/2 hour stop over in Paris.

TODAY'S SIGN THE WORLD IS ENDING

A teenage couple in Edmunton, Alberta, playing fantasy sex games got a shock when 10 police cruisers showed up.

Officers noticed a suspicious car and thought the naked woman bound in the back seat was being kidnapped.

The Edmunton Sun says after the 17-year-old woman was untaped, police found out everything was consensual -- it was just a little bondage scene -- but the woman was described as less than cooperative when she was whisked away to a hospital for a medical check.

Police say no charges will be filed but they're a little miffed over having to spend taxpayer money investigating an incident in which the couple could have been more discreet.

AND FINALLY, TODAY'S UPLIFTING STORY

A new national forecast based on skirt lengths rather than computer models says better economic times are on the way.

Taubman Centers Inc., which has 30 shopping centers in 13 states, says the quirky yet accurate forecasting tool -- the hemline indicator -- shows skirts are shorter when the economy improves.

A survey of 1,000 shoppers nationwide asked where they think skirt lengths will be this spring based on their projections for the economy.

Nearly half predicted skirts will rise above the knee -- and beyond -- an omen of good economic times. An additional 28 percent showed "cautious optimism" by projecting just-below-the-knee skirts. Some 18 percent went for "cheesecake" and vowed the good times are coming.