Jockstrip: The world as we know it

THINGS WE DON'T UNDERSTAND

Greenland's administrative manager for Home Rule government has been canned for using an Inuit healer to chase evil spirits from government offices, Radio Sweden reports.

Premier Hans Enoksen says he fired Jens Lyberth, the county's top civil servant, and two other senior officials.

The native healer incident sparked criticism in the Arctic island, which is a semi-autonomous part of Denmark, the report says.

Lyberth had urged Greenland´s nearly 600 civil servants to use similar spiritual healing methods as a way to promote better harmony between native Eskimos and the Danes who dominate the local government.

NEWS OF OTHER LIFE FORMS

If you want to understand your kids these days, check out the Poppins Perfect list of Top Ten Youthspeak Words at yourDictionary.com.

Paul JJ Payack, chairman of yourDictionary.com, says: "Our lists attempt to capture that evolution and innovations in word choice and usage that tell us something about ourselves."

Leading the list is "hottie" -- an object of affection, either personally or in the cultural milieu. Then comes "shizzle" -- a variation of "for sure" popularized by rapper Snoop Dogg, followed by "tight" -- which replaces "cool," "phat" -- for "way cool," and "hella" -- an intensive as in "hella tight."

Also on the list is "Wassup," followed by "flow dinero" for money, "Poppins perfect" for perfect in every way -- from, of course, Mary Poppins -- and "bling bling," which is the sound diamonds and gold jewelry make when the clink together.

TODAY'S SIGN THE WORLD IS ENDING

No more banana peel jokes. No more banana bread. No more bananas!

The Telegraph in London reports scientists warn one of the world's favorite fruits could be extinct within 10 years because of a rampaging plague of pests and disease.

Emile Frison and other banana researchers say regions most dependent on the banana, relying on the fruit for up to half their daily calories, are facing a tropical equivalent of the Irish potato famine.

The problem is bananas are a genetically sterile mutant unable to evolve to fight off new diseases. New Scientist notes genetic engineering might be the only answer to save the banana from extinction.

AND FINALLY, TODAY'S UPLIFTING STORY

For guys who just can't seem to spit out those three most important romance words, there's LoveWriter.com.

To get into gear for Valentine's Day, LoveWriter.com offers men four types of personalized romantic writing services -- Love Letters, Seduction Letters (PG-rated), Relationship-Mending Letters and Gentle Breakup Letters.

The companion site for gals is LadyLoveWriter.com offering the same services along with the It's Time to Marry Me Letter.

"These are all romantic situations that require skill, finesse and complete discretion," owner Erica Levy Klein says. "All information is kept strictly confidential, we offer 48-hour turnaround, and our customers seem to be very happy with the results."

All services cost $79 -- $59 in honor of Valentine's Day -- and personalized romantic advice in half-hour sessions also can be purchased for $75.