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BILLY JOEL SAYS CLINIC WAS A 'DUMP'

When entertainer Billy Joel entered the Silver Hill rehabilitation clinic in Connecticut recently, he reportedly anticipated staying in a really neat place. After all, that's where the likes of Sir Elton John, Joan Kennedy, Michael Jackson and other spent time in order to get their lives back together. But, in an interview with the Chicago Sun-Times, Joel noted that he doesn't think much of the establishment. The publication says that Joel kept hearing how "posh" the clinic was and thought it might not be a bad place to spend some time getting back on the straight and narrow. Now in retrospect he says Silver Hill is "a dump" and the food there "miserable." He spent ten days there last month. Additionally, there are reports that Joel has been able to lose a lot of weight on what he calls his "red wine diet." Prior to taking off six pounds while in the clinic, he had reportedly already lost more than 30.

VATICAN WARNED POPE NOT TO MAKE TRIP

Pope John Paul II had told reporters months ago that he was determined to attend this month's World Youth Day in Toronto. Had he the latitude to use the vernacular he likely would have said he would be there "come hell or high water." Well, the pope has finally arrived in Canada, despite publicized calls from the Vatican to cancel the trip because of his increasingly deteriorating health. Now 82, and showing the signs of Parkinson's disease, he elected to walk down the air stairs from his jetliner. An aide held one arm. He also used a cane. Canada's prime minister and hundreds of religious and secular dignitaries were hand to welcome John Paul. So what keeps the pope going? Let's face it. Just as Bob Hope always said that entertaining the troops, seeing a sea of anxious faces, gave him renewed strength, the current pope has always been bouyed up by the energy of young people. Published reports indicate that the centerpiece of the venue where the pope will speak and say mass is a giant 160-foot cross. No doubt his message will relate to the way the world has changed since Sept. 11. No, the pope can't live forever, but he remains determined to live life to the fullest, as long as he has the strength. In recent months Vatican Radio has talked more openly about the pope's frail condition and fears that he is pushing too hard.

BUSY RADIO REPORTER CAROL BROOKS DIES

For years, a lot of people depended on radio correspondent Carole Brooks. Now she has died far too young of lung cancer. She not only had a great delivery, but her reports were right on target. For many years she was a fixture on the old UPI Radio Network, acting for a time as its London bureau chief. But she also traveled, covering the conflicts in El Salvador and Lebanon, the Reagan-Gorbachev summit meeting in Geneva and the economic summit meeting in Tokyo. She also did major anchoring from the Live Aid concert in London. Brooks also worked for CNN, with important assignments in Atlanta and New York. Although I never met Carol face to face, I had many transatlantic conversations with her while I was at UPI headquarters in Washington and aired many of her reports during hourly newscasts. She was one of the more pleasant people with whom I ever worked. Carol, we miss you.

BETTER LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE

Changing formats and re-assigning on-air personnel is nothing new in radio. But do listeners enjoy having their daily "menu" changed? Many of the nation's top radio stations sound basically the same as they have for decades. They are proud of the fact that consistency has kept them high in the ratings for years. If you travel around the United States and night and bounce around the AM radio dial, you'll find many stations like "comfortable old shoes." Tune in WWL in New Orleans, or WSB in Atlanta, WBBM in Chicago, WCCO in Minneapolis, WBZ Boston, KOA in Denver, KNX in Los Angeles or KCBS in San Francisco and you'll find that you're as welcome as you were when you last listened in years ago. Enter the consultants. They don't earn their pay unless they find something wrong and suggest it be changed. According to the Washington Post, one of the traditional powerhouse stations in the nation's capital may have shot itself in the foot by doing too much on-air tweaking. The publication says that during a time when the station's management kept experimenting with different morning news anchors and techniques, listeners left in droves. The station, according to the ratings, lost 25 percent of its morning audience, at the same time it was winning two prestigious news awards. One regular listener tells the publication: "If you're used to eating two strips of bacon, two eggs and a cup of coffee every morning for breakfast, and one morning you get a cup of tea, pancakes and grapefruit ..." the whole day is ruined.

STRITCH MOVING SHOW TO LONDON

Whiskey-voiced Elaine Stritch is moving on, taking her wildly successful one-woman show to London. After a dynamite run in the Big Apple, in a show in which the veteran lady of the theater and movies bares her soul to the audience in gut-wrenchingly funny two hours of looking back, Stritch is moving the production to the London stage. According to gossip columnist Liz Smith, "Elaine Stritch at Liberty will open for previews at the Old Vic Theatre in the British capital in early October. Stritch is due to head for London in early September and will take a short vacation before entering into rehearsals at her latest venue. Stritch's show was such a hit in New York that it caught the attention of the CBS program "60 Minutes." Morley Safer's interview with Stritch was incredible, showing a woman of great excesses and insecurities who is willing to turn her private life, warts and all, into great theater.

WHAT A DIFFERENCE TWO LETTERS MAKE

Recently one of the best-known TV anchors in Texas retired. For an unbelievable 50 years Walter Furley presented the news to viewers in the Corpus Christi area. Now, having retired, he is able to spend time on another pursuit ... singing. Like many people in broadcasting, Furley is blessed with a gorgeous voice. For years his strong bass has been the foundation for the choir at the First United Methodist Church. When word got around that the much-honored choir was going to make a tour of England, the local NPR station decided to interview Furley. So Bill Clough (KLUFF') -- former United Press International news anchorman and now host of "First Hour" on KEDT-FM in Corpus -- brought Furley into the studio to pre-tape an interview. In the days between the taping and broadcast, excitement grew. All the leadership of the church, from the minister on down, was primed to hear the interview with Furley -- not only about the upcoming concert trip to the U.K., but also about his incredible career. "Turn on KEDT at 9 a.m." was the rallying cry. So a lot of people did tune in. They waited for the Furley interview ... and waited ... and waited. It never came. It seems that when the word was passed around two little letters were left out, "FM." The interview was on KEDT-FM. Church members assumed it was on KEDT-TV. They ended up watching an hour of "Teletubbies."

UPI DAILY SURVEY QUESTION NO. 377

Here's today's question: "Have you ever seen a Broadway play or musical in New York? If not, what was the best onstage production you've seen, and where?" Put STAGE in the subject line and send to [email protected] on the Internet.

RESULTS OF QUESTION NO. 372 (STORY)

Last week we asked for your favorite children's stories. Here's a random sampling of the replies. Karen U. is among those who mentioned "Cinderella." That story, in all of its incarnations, was the most mentioned story. Even though the Disney cartoon version is decades old, it is still a favorite. A large number of respondents, including Adam W., noted that some of the great books are still a point of fascination, including "Treasure Island" and the Mark Twain books about life on the Mississippi. Several mentioned stories I've never heard of, such as Amy Little's mention of a story called "Life with Uncle Terry." There were also several responses from older readers about many of the classic old-time radio shows, including "The Lone Ranger" and "The Green Hornet." Others getting votes were: "Alice in Wonderland" and the various "Grimm's Fairy Tales." TOMORROW: Some scary thoughts. GBA.