Jockstrip: The World As We Know It

MUMMYS (AND DADDYS)

A Peruvian archeological team says it's uncovered more than 2,200 mummies from a 500-year-old Inca community in one of the most significant burial finds from that period.

Team leader Guillermo Cock told a news conference in Washington Wednesday that the mummies -- most of which were bundled together in groups of up to seven individuals -- were rescued from certain destruction because the burial ground was beneath a schoolyard and shantytown on the eastern outskirts of Lima.

Cock characterized the find as a "perfect sample" of Inca demographics because "each social class and age group is represented." Taken as a whole, the mummified remains "(allow) us to look into an Inca community and examine their life, their health and their culture. We want to know who they were."

Each time the team began a new excavation, Cock said, he and his team made "an offering to Mother Earth" -- they buried jars of a fermented corn beer called chicha, along with coca leaves and potatoes. "She (Earth) was really, really happy and she gave us too many bundles," he told reporters.

So far, the team has found more than 1,200 bundles, Cock said, of which only three have been unwrapped. One bundle contained an individual the team calls the "Cotton King" because the person was wrapped in 300 pounds of raw cotton. The bundle also contained the body of a baby and 70 items including food, pottery, animal skins and corn.

(Thanks to UPI Deputy Science and Technology Editor Phil Berardelli)

THINGS WE DON'T UNDERSTAND

Beware Internet scams. A few months ago it was an e-mail from the widow of Zaire's dictator Mobutu Sese Seko promising millions to anyone who could help transfer his fortune out of the country.

Now, in an e-mail dated April 16 from Kabul, it's Special Forces commando Dennis Longe, currently "on covert search and destroy missions in the mountainous wastelands of Afghanistan, impenetrable domicile of the dreaded Taleban AlQeada (sic) terrorist network." It would seem that Trooper Longe and his squad overran a drug-processing facility and recovered a "booty cash sum of U.S. $36 million." They've stashed it in a luggage office in Kabul, but need your help in getting it out of the country "for an agreeable percentage of this funds." Longe needs confirmation via a "prompt response."

Once Longe is back home, he should use an "agreeable percentage" of his share of the funds for some remedial English courses.

(From UPI Hears)

NEWS OF OTHER LIFE FORMS

One wonders what American literary classical author and ardent 19th century social reformer Louisa May Alcott might have written had she known her home was bugged.

Literally.

Orchard House -- the home in Concord, Mass., where Alcott wrote her famous book, "Little Women," in the mid 1800s -- has been attacked by powder post beetles since it was built some 300 years ago. The creatures literally chew the wood to powder, according to Jan Turnquist, executive director of the Orchard House Museum and overseer of a $1.2 million-plus renovation project to save the historic structure.

Built probably in the late 1600s, the property was bought about 1857 by Louisa May's father, Bronson Alcott. He combined a "very fine house" in front with the tenant house in the rear, creating one large wood-frame home.

The problem was that while the front house had been built on a solid foundation, the rear portion was sitting on dirt. Over the decades, that caused the rear section to sink, putting extra stress on support posts and beams already being weakened by an infestation of powder post beetles.

"Those little things came in with timbers when the house was built," Turnquist said, "and they chew their way out."

The bug problem was unknown until recently. When the renovation project began, which includes putting a foundation under the rear section, an architect discovered the beetle problem.

"We have had post after post, major important posts, literally turn to powder before our eyes," Turnquist said. An infested post may look intact, she said, but "when you touch it the whole thing just crumbles into your hand."

Inch by inch, workers are painstakingly rebuilding posts and beams with studs and metal braces, Turnquist said. The project is supported in part by a grant from the public-private partnership Save America's Treasures.

Orchard House draws an estimated 30,000 to 50,000 visitors a year.

(Web site: louisamayalcott.org)

(Thanks to UPI's Dave Haskell in Boston)

TODAY'S SIGN THE WORLD IS ENDING

"Ally McBeal" creator and producer David E. Kelley is pulling the plug on the show, Daily Variety reports.

The hour-long comedy-drama, set in an unconventional law office, was once a ratings winner but has slipped this season -- it ranks 60th in total viewers and 30th among viewers ages 18-49.

According to Variety, Kelley's decision is not "a complete surprise," since industry insiders believed he would end the series so he could focus on "The Girls Club" -- an hour-long show he's developing for Fox.

"Ally McBeal" has won five Emmy Awards, including one for best comedy series in 1999. It was something of a groundbreaker in commercial TV, as Kelley used fantasy sequences to explore the private thoughts of the title character, played by Calista Flockhart in a star-making role.

AND FINALLY, TODAY'S UPLIFTING STORY

NBC-TV is planning a new reality survivor show with teenagers. It'll be called "Endurance," and the teen contestants will be flown to an island in the Pacific to compete for what the news release describes as "the ultimate prize." It doesn't define what that might be.

Tenner Paskal Casting is holding auditions for the show this Friday in Chicago. They're looking for "outgoing, energetic and interesting" 12-to-15-year-old boys and girls.

(Tenner Paskal Casting: 312-527-0665)