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Scott's World -- UPI Arts & Entertainment

By VERNON SCOTT, United Press International
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HOLLYWOOD, Dec. 25 (UPI) -- A list of New Year's resolutions and wishes for stars and celebrities for 2002:

Russell Crowe: A second consecutive Oscar.

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Barbra Streisand: A plane ticket to Afghanistan.

Alec Baldwin: The seat next to Streisand.

Leonardo DiCaprio: A lifeboat for his career.

Robert Downey, Jr.: A permanent room at the Betty Ford Clinic.

Wynona Ryder: A credit card.

Shrek: A lifetime supply of Beano.

Tom Cruise: A crying towel for losing Nicole Kidman.

Jennifer Cruz: A spelling change in her last name?

Will Smith: A title bout vs. Sylvester Stallone.

Madonna: A musical rhinestone navel pierce.

Phil Donahue: A seat beside Baldwin.

Sissy Spacek: An Oscar for "In The Bedroom."

Warren Beatty: A sequel to "In The Bedroom," co-starring Annette Bening.

Brad Pitt: A sober barber.

Oprah Winfrey: Gwyneth Paltrow's diet secrets.

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Martha Stewart: A collapsed souffle, stunted petunias, burned roast, imperfect hairdo, messy house and a fifth of vodka.

Bob Hope: A better new year.

Katharine Hepburn: And many more.

Julia Roberts: A script worthy of her talents.

Drew Barrymore: A reversible wedding gown.

Al Gore: A clean shave.

Liza Minnelli: Good luck on her fourth marriage.

Ellen Degeneres: Host of this year's Oscar Awards.

Jennifer Lopez: A group photograph with Paltrow, Reese Witherspoon, Calista Flockhart, Cameron Diaz, Lisa Kudrow, Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears and other show biz skinny blondes identified by number.

Sean Connery: A list of the blondes with their phone numbers and addresses.

Marlon Brando: See Oprah.

Catherine Zeta-Jones: Fewer films with her husband.

Michael Douglas: More films with wife Zeta-Jones.

Carmen Electra: A comeback -- from what?

Kate Couric: A bigger raise.

Sarah Jessica Parker: A new hairdresser for God's sake.

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Michael Jackson: A moon dance on Mars with Dennis Rodman.

Tommy Hilfiger and Eddie Bauer: Stop orders forbidding plastering their names on everything from underwear to automobiles.

Sharon Stone: An open charge account with Victoria's Secret.

The Olson twins: A double date with Macaulay Culkin and Charlie Sheen.

Sarah Michelle Gellar: An affair with a vampire.

John Travolta: No more films with religious associations.

Bruce Willis: A fright wig.

Sinead O'Connor: The same.

Jody Foster: A worthy script.

Whoopi Goldberg: A name change for One Ho Productions.

Monica Lewinsky: A likeness of Bill Clinton tattooed on her buns.

Woody Allen: Another "Manhattan" or even a martini.

Rudy Guiliani: A star on everyone's Walk of Fame.

Hilary Swank: A mainstream picture.

Hillary Clinton: Swank's swank.

Sean Penn: A year at Yasser Arafat's charm school.

Arnold Schwarzenegger: A bout against the winner of the Will Smith-Stallone punch-out.

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Renee Zellweger: If Arnold ever gets divorced, a marriage to him would make her Renee Zellweger Schwarzenegger; put that on a theater marquee why don'tcha!

Goldie Hawn: A comeback in a hit movie.

Elizabeth Taylor: An offer from the World Wrestling Federation and a date with Minnesota's governor.

Kelsey Grammer: A guest shot on Ted Danson's show, or just a shot.

Steven Spielberg: A halt to future "Jurassic Park" sequels.

Ditto for "Shrek."

Jim Carrey: A Jerry Lewis guide to playing nut cases.

Judy Dench: A name change to Garland or any other moniker.

Judge Judy: Disbarment.

Moon Unit Zappa: A biography of Sun Yat-sen.

"Lord of the Rings": The Oscar for best picture of 2001.

Osama bin Ladin: A shroud.

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