The almanac By United Press International WASHINGTON, May 20 (UPI) -- UPI Almanac for Tuesday, May 20, 2008.

Turkey crashes courthouse scene LUBBOCK, Texas, May 20 (UPI) -- A wild turkey crashed through a fourth-story window at the Lubbock County Courthouse Monday, scaring people but hurting no one, a local newspaper reported.

Killer's MySpace: 'I'm pretty harmless' DENVER, May 19 (UPI) -- A convicted killer who may receive the death penalty in Colorado has a MySpace page where he describes himself as "pretty harmless."

Rotting whale corpse disassembled TIGNISH, Prince Edward Island, May 19 (UPI) -- Crews from two Canadian universities have disassembled a whale carcass that washed up on a Prince Edward Island beach two decades ago, residents said.

Deer crashes academia WEST LAFAYETTE, Ind., May 19 (UPI) -- A deer was tranquilized and captured Monday after crashing into a building on the Purdue University campus in Indiana, police said.

Canadian report: Rename 'accommodations' QUEBEC CITY, May 19 (UPI) -- A report commissioned by the government of Canada's Quebec province has suggested renaming religious "accommodations."

Police: Suspects had incriminating photos JACKSONVILLE, Fla., May 19 (UPI) -- Jacksonville, Fla., police said two men busted for pot possession incurred additional charges after they showed officers photos of graffiti they created.

'Ninja fighter' cop goes back to work OVIEDO, Fla., May 19 (UPI) -- Police in Oviedo, Fla., say they have returned a badge and firearm to an officer who lost them briefly for saying he was a "super-trained killer ninja fighter."

Swarms of bees invade New York NEW YORK, May 19 (UPI) -- Two large swarms of bees have caused a buzz in New York with experts saying it is proof the city may be invaded by the flying pests in coming months.

Elderly couple allegedly stole kid's bike MILWAUKEE, May 19 (UPI) -- An elderly Milwaukee couple was cited for theft for taking a bike from a rummage sale, claiming they thought it was included in an $11 purchase, officials said.

Man defends wife who shot at him CLEVES, Ohio, May 19 (UPI) -- A Cleves, Ohio, man whose wife is accused of firing a rifle at him has asked a court to be lenient with her.

Teen allegedly set off alarm as prank NASHVILLE, May 19 (UPI) -- A Nashville high school graduate who allegedly was attempting a prank at her former school was foiled when she set off an alarm, police said.

UFO network cannot confirm Texas incident STEPHENVILLE, Texas, May 19 (UPI) -- The Texas chapter of the Mutual UFO Network says it has been unable to confirm sightings around the town of Stephenville, despite multiple witnesses.

Police: Men shot each other with Tasers BOULDER, Colo., May 19 (UPI) -- Police in Boulder, Colo., say a security guard and a man upset by having his car booted shot each other simultaneously with stun guns during an argument.

UPI NewsTrack Quirks in the News WASHINGTON, May 19 (UPI) -- Dead cat becomes black diamond ring … Cookie crash closes highway … Photographer hit by javelin keeps working … Boston police adopt high-tech sirens ... UPI Quirks in the News.

Photographer hit by javelin keeps working PROVO, Utah, May 19 (UPI) -- A persistent Utah photographer proved he was no cry baby when he returned to work the same day he was hit by a javelin while taking pictures at a track meet.

Boston police adopt high-tech sirens BOSTON, May 19 (UPI) -- Boston's police force has become the latest in the country to trade in old-fashioned car sirens for noisemakers that send sound waves directly into cars.

Dead cat becomes black diamond ring ILFRACOMBE, England, May 19 (UPI) -- A British woman said she turned her beloved, recently deceased cat into a one-third-of-a-carat black diamond ring with the help of a U.S. firm.

Cookie crash closes down highway MORRIS, Ill., May 19 (UPI) -- Illinois police said they had to close several lanes of a highway after a truck carrying Oreos rammed into the median, scattering cookies all over the road.

Watercooler Stories May 19 (UPI) -- Cabbage stalks prompt garbage penalty ... Gecko makes surprise appearance in egg ... School yearbook gets unwanted makeover ... Cartoon cat to be ambassador for Japan ,,, Watercooler stories from UPI.

Jockstrip: The world as we know it. May 19 (UPI) -- Mom offered phone sex in number mix-up ... Hundreds of pizzas lined up for charity ,,, Mother, daughter earn master's degrees ,,, NYU trash becomes another's treasure ,,, The world as we know it from UPI.

Your Daily Horoscope By D.DONOVAN KINSOLVING UPI Features Writer WASHINGTON, May 19 (UPI) -- UPI horoscopes for

The almanac By United Press International WASHINGTON, May 19 (UPI) -- UPI Almanac for Monday, May 19, 2008.

Mom offered phone sex in number mix-up ANDALUSIA, Ala., May 18 (UPI) -- An Alabama mother says she was offered the wrong kind of assistance when she called a poison control center and instead reached a phone sex line.

Hundreds of pizzas lined up for charity FORT PIERCE, Fla., May 18 (UPI) -- A total of 722 pizzas were lined up longer than two football fields in Fort Pierce, Fla., to raise money for charity, the event's organizer says.

Mother, daughter earn master's degrees CINCINNATI, May 18 (UPI) -- An Ohio woman who received a master's degree from Cincinnati's Xavier University along with her mother says the degrees were hard work but worth it.

NYU trash becomes another's treasure NEW YORK, May 18 (UPI) -- Items collected for discard at the end of the semester at New York University have been donated to the homeless, participants in the cleanup said.

Cabbage stalks prompt garbage penalty NORWICH, England, May 18 (UPI) -- Officials in Norwich, England, have tagged a man as a repeat recycling offender for placing cabbage stalks in his garbage, the 73-year-old says.

Gecko makes surprise appearance in egg DARWIN, Australia, May 18 (UPI) -- An investigation is planned to determine how a gecko got inside a chicken egg, Australian scientists say.

School yearbook gets unwanted makeover MCKINNEY, Texas, May 18 (UPI) -- A miscommunication resulted in blurred or altered yearbook pictures for some Texas high school students, but the company says it will reprint the books.

Cartoon cat to be ambassador for Japan TOKYO, May 18 (UPI) -- Japan is set to have its first-ever cartoon goodwill tourism ambassador, as Hello Kitty has been chosen to take the job in China, officials said.

Your Daily Horoscope By D.DONOVAN KINSOLVING UPI Features Writer WASHINGTON, May 18 (UPI) -- UPI horoscopes for Sunday, May 18, 2008.

The almanac By United Press International WASHINGTON, May 18 (UPI) -- UPI Almanac for Sunday, May 18, 2008.

Stolen ambulance crashes nightclub raid HOUSTON, May 18 (UPI) -- A drug raid at a Houston nightclub early Saturday was interrupted when a man driving a stolen ambulance hit several police cars involved in the raid.

Gator moves into Texas sinkhole DAISETTA, Texas, May 17 (UPI) -- An alligator has turned a sinkhole that formed in Texas into its own personal playpen.

Cleveland trash controversy really stinks CLEVELAND, May 17 (UPI) -- Union workers on Cleveland's public payroll stand to be paid for services they did not perform, raising a fairness issue, business leaders say.

Guilty plea made in doughnut van theft TOLEDO, Iowa, May 17 (UPI) -- A 47-year-old man has pleaded guilty to stealing a donut delivery van in Illinois and initiating a police chase through Tama County, Iowa, authorities say.

Police: Amorous teens broke into home DES MOINES, Iowa, May 17 (UPI) -- Two teenagers apparently desperate for a place to have sex or "make out" broke into a vacant home in Des Moines, Iowa, police allege.

Your Daily Horoscope By D.DONOVAN KINSOLVING UPI Features Writer WASHINGTON, May 17 (UPI) -- UPI horoscopes for Saturday, May 17, 2008.

The almanac By United Press International WASHINGTON, May 17 (UPI) -- UPI Almanac for Saturday, May 17, 2008.

Vendors hawk racially insensitive duds CHICAGO, May 16 (UPI) -- Some Chicago vendors said they are selling controversial "Horry Kow" T-shirts, despite efforts by the Chicago Cubs to ban the offensive merchandise.

UPI NewsTrack Quirks in the News WASHINGTON, May 16 (UPI) -- Florida deputy bitten by gator ... Parakeet eggs lure man into live wire ... Woman with large cyst told to lose weight ... Cows stampede on California highway ... UPI Quirks in the News.

Man: Bank sued after OKing money ALTOONA, Pa., May 16 (UPI) -- A bank has filed suit against an Altoona, Pa., man after he spent part of a $280,276.76 deposit mistakenly put into his account.

Kids want teacher back despite nudity SYDNEY, May 16 (UPI) -- First-grade students and parents alike at Australia's Narraweena Primary School want their teacher back -- even if she did pose in the nude.

Cows stampede on California highway CONCORD , Calif., May 16 (UPI) -- The California Highway Patrol said 10 cows wandered into traffic after they escaped from a trailer on Highway 4, near the interchange with Interstate 680.

Parakeet eggs lure man into live wire PLANTATION, Fla., May 16 (UPI) -- A Plantation, Fla., man has been hospitalized after he touched a live electric wire while attempting to retrieve a nest of parakeet eggs from a substation.

New York teachers learn cell phone lessons NEW YORK, May 16 (UPI) -- New York's school system is instructing teachers on how to integrate cell phones into lessons -- despite a citywide ban on mobile phones in schools.

Florida deputy bitten by gator DELTONA, Fla., May 16 (UPI) -- The Volusia County, Fla., Sheriff's Office said a deputy responding to a call about an alligator in a parking lot was bitten by the reptile.

Arrest in 1991 'Point Break' robbery SAUGATUCK, Mich., May 16 (UPI) -- A man accused of robbing a Michigan bank 17 years ago in a style reminiscent of the surfer film "Point Break" has been arrested, investigators say.

Thong helps Giambi out of slumps NEW YORK, May 16 (UPI) -- New York Yankees All-Star Jason Giambi said he often wears a tiger-stripe thong to help him out of slumps -- and he has loaned it out to teammates.