Police say skip the line about 2 beers WASHINGTON, Dec. 31 (UPI) -- Police officers say there's one line they've heard so many times from drivers it's a joke -- "I've only had two beers."

Texas, Calif. govs wager on Rose Bowl SACRAMENTO, Dec. 31 (UPI) -- The governors of California and Texas have a friendly bet on the outcome of next week's Rose Bowl game.

Scalia rated the Supreme Court's funniest WASHINGTON, Dec. 31 (UPI) -- A Boston University professor has examined Supreme Court transcripts and concluded that the conservative Antonin Scalia is the funniest justice.

Many not happy on 'hedonic treadmill' By ALEX CUKAN LONDON, Dec. 31 (UPI) -- While many U.S. adults wish for better finances in the new year, a British economist says money is not the path to happiness.

Goldfish survives fire LONDON, Dec. 31 (UPI) -- A 10-inch goldfish plucked from an ornamental pond by a heron surprised a British man when it appeared in his fireplace -- while a fire was blazing.

More Britons staying home for New Year's LONDON, Dec. 31 (UPI) -- Drunkenness, rowdiness and anti-social behavior may be why seven out of 10 people in Britain say they planned to greet the new year at home.

Britons ignorant about classical music LONDON, Dec. 31 (UPI) --

Your Daily Horoscope By D. DONOVAN KINSOLVING UPI Features Writer , Dec. 31 (UPI) -- UPI horoscopes for Saturday, Dec. 31, 2005.

The Almanac By United Press International , Dec. 31 (UPI) --

Japanese consul thrown out of pub EDINBURGH, Scotland, Dec. 30 (UPI) -- The Japanese consul in Edinburgh was thrown out of a pub after his son and a friend fell asleep.

Confederate flag prom dress sparks suit RUSSELL, Ky., Dec. 30 (UPI) -- A lawsuit against a Kentucky school district over a Confederate flag prom dress is set for trial in August.

UPI NewsTrack Quirks in the News , Dec. 30 (UPI) -- Family told to pick up dad's ashes ... S. Carolina dumps mini-bottles ... U.S. planned Canada invasion -- in 1930 ... Fla. teen goes to Iraq to see democracy ... UPI Quirks in the News.

Family told to pick up dad's ashes LIVERPOOL, England, Dec. 30 (UPI) -- The widow and son of an old canal boatman say they have been ordered to move his ashes from the commodore's garden at a boat club.

U.S. planned Canada invasion -- in 1930 WASHINGTON, Dec. 30 (UPI) --

S. Carolina dumps mini-bottles CHARLESTON, S.C., Dec. 30 (UPI) -- South Carolina, the last state in the country to allow liquor to be sold in bars and restaurants only in mini-bottles, is giving up the practice.

Fla. teen goes to Iraq to see democracy FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla., Dec. 30 (UPI) --

Watercooler Stories By United Press International , Dec. 30 (UPI) -- Text messaging takes hold in U.S. ... Schools use novel ways to boost attendance ... Children eat up women's time to themselves ... Student sues Philadelphia for false arrest ... Watercooler stories from UPI.

Jockstrip: The world as we know it By United Press International , Dec. 30 (UPI) -- Man uses walker to drag trophy buck ... Telemarketer saves man's life ... Woman has to get declared undead ... TV stardom has blown Miami cop's cover ... The world as we know it from UPI.

Your Daily Horoscope By D. DONOVAN KINSOLVING UPI Features Writer , Dec. 30 (UPI) -- UPI horoscopes for Friday, Dec. 30, 2005.

The Almanac By United Press International , Dec. 30 (UPI) --

Text messaging takes hold in U.S. WASHINGTON, Dec. 29 (UPI) -- A survey finds that U.S. cell phone users are getting more comfortable with text messaging -- and with getting emotional via text message.

Musician saves fake castle from demolition TUJUNGA, Calif., Dec. 29 (UPI) -- A California musician has bought the ultimate fixer-upper, a fake French chateau built more than 75 years ago near Los Angeles.

Man uses walker to drag trophy buck IPSWICH, S.D., Dec. 29 (UPI) -- A South Dakota veterinarian and bow-hunting enthusiast with two artificial legs used his walker to drag a record-breaking buck to a clearing.

Indiana gov's mansion goes undecorated INDIANAPOLIS, Dec. 29 (UPI) -- A plan to feature the Indiana governor's mansion as the Decorators' Show House of 2006 has broken down because the decorators' plans were too showy.

Small teen recants torment charge NEW YORK, Dec. 29 (UPI) -- A Brooklyn teen says her accusation that neighbors heartlessly tormented her and her mom because of their small stature was just a tall tale.

UPI NewsTrack Quirks in the News , Dec. 29 (UPI) -- Cat named Lucky has 8 lives left ... Abusive airline passenger dumped on island ... A good idea takes on speed ... Austria in flap over EU sex posters ... UPI Quirks in the News.

Schools use novel ways to boost attendance LOS ANGELES, Dec. 29 (UPI) --

Telemarketer saves man's life SARASOTA SPRINGS, N.Y., Dec. 29 (UPI) --

Woman has to get declared undead MERILLVILLE, Ind., Dec. 29 (UPI) --

Children eat up women's time to themselves LONDON, Dec. 29 (UPI) --

Student sues Philadelphia for false arrest PHILADELPHIA, Dec. 29 (UPI) --

TV stardom has blown Miami cop's cover MIAMI, Dec. 29 (UPI) -- Television stardom has blown the cover of Miami's most famous real-life police officer.

Holiday stain removal a phone call away OAKLAND, Calif., Dec. 29 (UPI) --

Cat named Lucky has 8 lives left MISSOULA, Mont., Dec. 29 (UPI) --

Abusive airline passenger dumped on island TENERIFE, Spain, Dec. 29 (UPI) --

A good idea takes on speed BATTLE CREEK, Mich., Dec. 29 (UPI) -- A Paw Paw, Mich., man's idea to free his car mired in mud went slightly awry when the driverless vehicle careened across a field at 100 mph.

Austria in flap over EU sex posters VIENNA, Dec. 29 (UPI) --

Watercooler Stories By United Press International , Dec. 28 (UPI) -- Missing penguin's parents courting again... Doc refunds patient with 29,000 pennies... Couple finds rare purple pearl... Likeability the ultimate trump card... Watercooler stories from UPI.

Jockstrip: The world as we know it By United Press International , Dec. 28 (UPI) -- Test drive ends with car in swimming pool... Family sues cemetery over lost remains... Irish jockey celebrates win prematurely... U.S. misery index hits 92 percent... world as we know it from UPI.

Your Daily Horoscope By D. DONOVAN KINSOLVING UPI Features Writer , Dec. 29 (UPI) -- UPI horoscopes for Thursday, Dec. 29, 2005.

The Almanac By United Press International , Dec. 29 (UPI) --

Address can add up to bad feng shui HAYWARD, Calif., Dec. 28 (UPI) -- It's hard to avoid unlucky street numbers in Hayward, Calif., a newspaper report says.

Test drive ends with car in swimming pool BELLEVUE, Wash., Dec. 28 (UPI) --

N.Y. town members in racy poses for park SAYVILLE, N.Y., Dec. 28 (UPI) -- Residents of a Long Island town have posed nearly nude for a calendar to raise funds for a local park.

Video game causes bomb scare at airport NEW YORK, Dec. 28 (UPI) --

UPI NewsTrack Quirks in the News , Dec. 28 (UPI) -- U.S. misery index hits 92 percent ... Irish jockey celebrates win prematurely ... Family sues cemetery over lost remains ... Chicago No. 1 for New Year's Eve ... UPI Quirks in the News.

Bus driver fired for Santa decorations NEW YORK, Dec. 28 (UPI) -- A New York bus driver says the Christmas decorations that cost him his gig with Golden Touch Transportation still will be up for Three Kings Day Jan. 6.

Likeability the ultimate trump card NEW YORK, Dec. 28 (UPI) --

Couple find rare purple pearl PORTSMOUTH, R.I., Dec. 28 (UPI) --

Doc refunds patient with 29,000 pennies VERO BEACH, Fla., Dec. 28 (UPI) --