Empty Nest: My goodness, look at the time

LOS ANGELES, Dec. 8 (UPI) --Well, it looks like playing music at the British pub near my home is turning into a regular gig and that's fun even if it isn't exactly what I had planned for the near-term.

My plan, after playing an October showcase in Santa Monica, was to spend less time traveling and preparing to play publicly, and more time keeping the nest tidy. Instead, I've played at the pub three of the past five Saturdays, entailing hours and hours of practice with Jim the guitarist and Lagi the bass player.

Oh, have I mentioned we picked up a bassist? Lagi is a regular at the pub, a graphic designer by trade and a very good musician. Like so many others I know, he currently has a substantial amount of free time, courtesy of the Great Recession.

So I'm not going to complain if music is taking up more of my time than I'd planned.

The three of us played in public for the first time Saturday and it went well enough that management booked us to come back -- which means more rehearsal, which means I'm still putting off the part where I pay closer attention to home and hearth.

I keep thinking of what folk icon Pete Seeger said in an interview about a major change he underwent when it occurred to him he was treating his home -- that is, his house, his neighborhood, his environment, basically -- as if it were a hotel. He decided to become more involved, even committed, to preservation and conservation. The notion is starting to resonate with me in a personal way.

I'm behind on getting ready for Christmas, behind in my housework and way behind on working out at the Y. From the first days of parenthood it's been a struggle for me not to be consistently five to 10 minutes late for just about everything, so running behind is nothing new. It's out of character, though, for me to be lagging on so many fronts all at once.

I wonder if age has something to do with it.

Ready or not, I'm in for another adventure in time management -- and one that I welcome without reservation -- because Lena is moving back into the house!

She moved out in August to live with her mom while she attended college in Pasadena, Calif., but she's decided to come back and attend the community college where a good many of her friends went right after high school. I like the idea on a lot of counts -- she's a wonderful human being -- and I'm hoping she and I can spend a decent amount of time on music.

At times I've had to defend my choice to let my kids -- especially the older one, who is 20 -- stay with me past their 18th birthday. There is a widespread notion that 18 is some kind of magic number and kids should be compelled at that point to be self sufficient and independent. I've never been sure enough of the proposition to be willing to experiment with my children to see if it works.

They'll go when they're ready. With luck they won't bounce back. Either way I've made it clear to both of them -- as long as I have a place to live so do they. They might have to sleep on a cot but they will have an address.

I often contemplate the words of the American writer and social critic Calvin Trillin: "Your children are either the center of your life or they're not, and the rest is commentary."

It's an open question which of the options is preferable and it's probably a personal choice from one family to the next. I have this idealistic notion that, of course, my children are the center of my life. But there are times I can't swear I'm living up to it.

Next: The car insurance is how much?

(Editor's note: The nest isn't necessarily empty just because the kids leave -- after all, dad's still there, with time and opportunity for pursuits that have been on hold for, let's face it, a generation. This is the latest in a series of reflections.)