However, each style, says Julia Ericksen, of Temple University, Philadelphia, is valid.

For her book "Taking Charge of Breast Cancer," Ericksen interviewed 96 women ages 26 to 72 and found four different types of coping.

The response of our modern culture seems to be pressuring women to "take charge," like 48-year-old Donna, who became a "biomedical expert" who made her own decisions concerning care and delegated the job of responding to friends' inquiries to her husband.

Other responses were the "religious responder" who drew strength from her faith and the "alternative medicine experts" who incorporated yoga, acupuncture, biofeedback techniques or visualization tapes into treatment.

A "traditional responder" like 42-year-old Sheila experienced medical problems following reconstruction and wrestled with issues pertaining to body image.

"A woman doesn't have to feel guilty about being a traditional responder, for example," Ericksen says in a statement. "Perhaps she has small children and doesn't have time to devote to every little detail of her care. That's okay."