HOI AN, Vietnam, May 18 (UPI) -- When a person has learned how to make rice-paper wrappers from scratch and to carve a rose from a tomato, they can get a little above themselves.
And these were only two of the skills taught in two hours before we ate our lesson by Huynh Chau of Hoi An's Red Bridge Cooking school.
He is a man to listen to attentively for advice offered with a charming turn of phrase. "Do not eat MSG (MonoSodium Glutimate). You get kiwlled. Truss me."
But for nutritional advice, Miss Thuan was the person to turn to. Before the start of the class, she led our motley crew of Western foodies round the morning market in Hoi An, at an hour most of us would have preferred to remain languishing in bed.
Hoi An lies inland, a mile from the coast on a river that provides the historical Central Vietnam town with a plentitude of fresh fish. The ocean yield, netted far out to sea, was on sale inside the covered area of the market that stretches several muddy blocks. Fish sold inside the market, Miss Thuan said, indicates sea fish caught the previous day. Fresher fish from the river, netted right there throughout that night, are sold outside along the quay.
Her food and nutrition hints apply anywhere in the world.
"To test squid freshness, roll squid body over itself," she advised. "Hard squid, good. Soft squid, not so fresh."
She plucked out a startling grenade in designer-contrast shocking pink and lime-green. "Dragonfruit. Not much flavor. But crush with vodka -- good." This was less revealing: socks are good with vodka.
Next, fresh ginger. Peeled and chopped into fine slices, steeped in boiling water and drunk as hot as tolerable, it will soothe a troubled stomach.
Small heads of garlic are more pungent in taste than large. If you have snakes in your garden, plant lemongrass to ward them off.
More useful to enthusiastic cooks of Southeast Asian food was the trick for softening dried rice-paper wrappers: Pack several at a time between the leaves of vegetables like cabbage or lettuce.
Then wrap the bundle inside a plastic bag and leave at least two hours. The rice wrappers will be soft enough to manipulate and roll without any of the messy business with bowls of water and damp paper towels.
She took a sweet potato from an ancient woman with a walnut face and the benign expression of wide-eyed wonder that film director Stephen Spielberg is drawn to for his extra-terrestrials.
This at last was a familiar piece of produce. Miss Thuan's advice for what to do with the leaves attached was not. "Rub potato leaf round a claypot on the outside and it will keep longer." Unglazed, this is the common Vietnamese casserole dish.
Nursing mothers, she recommended, should add the leaves to soup stock with vegetables. "For milking mothers, make more milk."
Turning her attention to the men, she picked an unfamiliar herb from a pile and grinned. "Ram herb," she explained. "For when power run away from the pickle."
Back at the cooking school, a 25-minute boat trip up-river, Huynh Chau had his own advice.
"If you can't find Asian eggplant, long and thin like purple and white banana, use Japanese. If you can't find Japanese, use Italian. But bitter. So slice it, boil it in water with teaspoon of salt, teaspoon of sugar till soft, then throw away water. And if you can't find Italian eggplant, better stay in bed and not cook."
The eggplant became a dish to be eaten with steamed rice. Rice is the common Southeast Asian staple in a diet that is 80 percent carbohydrates. Yet a fat person is a rarity in the region, despite the copious quantities of rice consumed.
"Because," said Huynh Chau, "we eat plenty of vegetables, not too much meat, and no dairy."
This is has been a constant refrain. But, the locals explain, rice makes you feel full. The carbohydrates are released slowly, so there are never the energy highs and lows from the sugar rushes that result from the processed foods and ready-meals of the Westerner's diet.
Here is the eggplant dish Huyn Chau cooked to eat with rice.
-- Asian Eggplant in Clay Pot
-- Serves 4
-- 1 medium sized clay pot or heavy casserole
-- 2 Asian eggplants cut into 1/2 inch thick pieces
-- 1 lemongrass stalk, smashed with a cleaver
-- 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
-- 2 teaspoons sugar
-- 1 1/2 tablespoons tomato paste
-- 2 cups water
-- Add 2 cups of water to the clay pot, then the lemongrass and 1 teaspoon of salt and bring to the boil.
-- Add the eggplant and continue to boil for 3 more minutes, then drain the water from the pot and add all the other ingredients and simmer 10 minutes until tender and the sauce reduced a little.
-- Serve hot with boiled or steamed rice.
