There are few role models for caregiving and coping with serious illness, and perhaps that's why columns on Clay Aiken and Dick Clark have touched a nerve in so many readers.
Many, many readers wrote and all made insightful comments and I wish I could share them all. Numerous Aiken fans wrote about how the singer's philosophy of inclusion has changed the way they think and behave around those with physical and mental disabilities.
Marge, a registered nurse for 30 years -- the last 16 years as a psychiatric nurse -- wrote that the paperwork, budget cuts and work politics can get her down sometimes but she tries to remember she makes a difference.
"I am also a Clay Aiken fan and he has helped me be a better nurse by his example," she wrote. "I have adopted the attitude of inclusion, that I can learn just as much from (my patients) as they can from me, if not more. I serve them; they are my customers and have a right to equal partnership in their care. I had known these things but Clay made me look at it differently and challenge how I was applying it."
Cindy wrote that she has attended several fundraisers for Aiken's foundation, the Bubel/Aiken Foundation, and listened to Aiken speak on inclusion, his camps and how important it is that each make a difference in their world.
"For some reason, he touched my soul, and got me to turn off the TV and get involved in my community," wrote Cindy. "Recently, we (several Aiken fans) volunteered at a local therapeutic riding academy to help them raise funds -- to see the joy on the faces of the kids who benefit from the riding is worth every second."
Some fans have children or siblings with disabilities and appreciate Aiken being a role model for inclusion, but many just appreciate the message.
"Some of his fans are involved just because it's for Clay!" said Sue. "But many more of us, especially those of us with healthy children and grandchildren, have discovered 'inclusion' from a whole different perspective and are better for it."
Perhaps Aiken's efforts to remove the stigma of disabilities helped sensitize people when they saw Dick Clark on ABC's "New Year's Rockin' Eve."
Several in the media suggested that Clark stay in the closet following his stroke -- unless he recovered 100 percent. "The intrusion of sickness and physical decline in a public figure always takes a toll on the public," wrote a media columnist for the Buffalo News.
One woman recounted the difficulties encountered by her husband following a neurological disorder brought on by mini-strokes.
"I was one of these caregivers for my husband, who cared for him for six years at home, as he progressively worsened. It's a very lonely life," she said. "We suffer because they suffer ... please continue to bring attention to the needs of the caregiver. We are often forgotten."
Lauren wrote that people fear illness. "You can choose to get drunker than a skunk; you can't choose what illness may befall you," she said. "Fear is always the underlying factor in bad behavior, or so it seems."
The president of the Pediatric Stroke Network, a support group for Childhood Stroke survivors, wrote that her 7-year-old son has speech issues as a result of a stroke and it is not uncommon for adults to brush him aside because it does take him a little bit longer to get his thoughts to words.
"I sat here in shock at the reactions of people from the news media, message boards and even my own support group after they saw Dick Clark," she wrote. "I felt nothing but awe and pride for a great man who wasn't ashamed of his condition and who didn't hide. Yet others felt he should have done just that, hid from the world because he is disabled. It didn't make sense to me! It still doesn't!"
A neurologist wrote that instead of criticizing Clark for choosing to appear on a nationally broadcast TV program, why not commend him for promoting stroke awareness and giving stroke survivors and their families hope for recovery?
Nan summed it up when she wrote: "All of us who are lucky enough will get old. We need to begin right now this very day to treat those who are disabled the way we hope to be treated."
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Alex Cukan is an award-winning journalist, but she always has considered caregiving her primary job. UPI welcomes comments and questions about this column. E-mail: [email protected]
