The late-night talk-show host read his roster of "Justin Bieber Headlines We're Likely to Read." It went as follows --
10. Out of options, Bieber seeks asylum in Russia.
9. Justin Bieber, sick of himself, kicks own ass.
8. Singer changes name to Bustin Jieber
7. Justin and wife welcome first biebie
6. Bieber loses modeling deal to 19-year-old from Seattle
5. Jury enters third day of belieberations
4. Bieber, Kardashian married
3. Bieber, Kardashian finalize divorce
2. Mayor Rob Ford names Bieber Chief of Police
1. Just tweets photo of his Bieber
Iranian woman stops the execution of son's killer
Members of Congress to keep receiving porn magazine