Christie answered for nearly two hours the media's questions about allegations one of his top aides and two officials at the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, which oversees the George Washington Bridge, deliberately shut down lanes of the crossing in September to create auto gridlock in Fort Lee, a New Jersey town across the Hudson River from New York City.
The scheme was allegedly designed to punish Fort Lee's Democratic mayor for not endorsing Republican Christie for re-election.
Christie has denied knowing anything about the plot but apologized for the trouble his administration caused.
Letterman's "Top 10 Highlights of the Chris Christie Press Conference" read as follows:
10. Shocking revelation of corruption in New Jersey?
9. Blamed the whole thing on getting drunk with Dennis Rodman
8. More profanity than "The Wolf of Wall Street"
7. Claimed his heart was broken, but acknowledged it might be obesity-related
6. Said he wasn't a bully, then put Chris Matthews in a headlock
5. Christie's claim he had no idea a bridge connected New Jersey and New York
4. An appearance by the fake sign language guy
3. Boldly took responsibility by blaming everyone but himself
2. Announced plans to execute his uncle
1. Interrupted press conference to smoke crack