"Well, you know, apparently I'm a bigger Justin Bieber fan than I thought I was," Lopez began. "They always say whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but whatever happens in Canada, everybody knows."
After Bieber, Lopez barbed crack-smoking Toronto mayor Rob Ford, "[The police] told me, they said, 'Sir, this behavior cannot continue.' And if it does... we would be honored if you would be mayor of Toronto."
Lopez made headlines in February when the 52-year-old actor and comedian passed out drunk on a Windsor, Ontario casino floor some time after his stand-up performance. The police took Lopez into custody until he sobered up, but did not press charges.
The incident particularly upset fans because Lopez had previously sworn off alcohol in 2005 after he received a kidney transplant from his wife. He reiterated his commitment to sobriety Thursday on Ellen.
"I'm the new George now," Lopez promised.