Simpson isn't famous, but went viral on Friday with a Myspace post describing her first-ever Oscars experience as the best friend of someone who is.
Simpson's account is full of juicy details about the celebrities she met -- Jessica Biel held the door open for her, Brad Pitt "smells amazing" -- that you just won't get watching the ceremony on television. She also explains how people at such events treat non-celebrities.
The only time anyone talks to you is if you are in the way of his or her photo. Oh and photographers on the carpet yell "YOU IN THE HUGE DRESS, GET OUT OF THE F**KING SHOT." It's incredible. It is no wonder actors are crazy.
You might also recognize Simpson as the well-coiffed brunette who helped break Lawrence's red-carpet fall.
Simpson wrote about that, too.
We finally arrive at the red carpet and as we exit the car, my date eats sh** and uses my freshly done Lauren Conrad up do to break her fall. The crowd goes wild. There are flashbulbs and people circling yet no one asks if I need any help because unless you are famous at the Oscars, you are completely invisible.
She also meets an endless train of celebrities, and seems just as starstruck as we would be:
Some guy picks up my purse that had fallen off my seat and I say "Thank you… Channing Tatum" and my dress gets caught on Jennifer Garner and we awkwardly laugh and someone tries to separate us. The lovely pregnant Kerry Washington asks me if she could have the Slim Jim in my purse. Glenn Close shows us her Oscar secret, which is a handmade corset and a dress long enough to hide her comfortable shoes.
Read the whole post over at Myspace.