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Feb. 15, 2011 at 4:00 AM

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CHARLIE SHEEN: Hollywood actor Charlie Sheen says he is ready to return to "Two and a Half Men" after treatment for addiction but production on the show remains suspended.

Sheen has starred on the CBS comedy for eight seasons, but production was halted last month after he suffered a relapse in his recovery. He is currently undergoing out-patient treatment.

"We are on forced hiatus. They said, 'You get ready and we'll get ready.' And I got ready and went back and nobody's there," Sheen said on Monday's edition of DIRECTV's "The Dan Patrick Show." "I don't know what to tell you, Dan. Nobody is thereā€¦ I don't know what to tell you, man. I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it, you know?"

Asked when he thinks shooting may resume, Sheen replied: "I believe August of 2014 at this pace. I don't know, it's supposed to be the 28th or the 29th. That's what it is! It's the 29th of the non-leap year."

The actor said he is eager to get back to work.

"Yeah. I'm a man of my word, I have a contract. They said get your act together and I did. I think just maybe it was a timing thing. I didn't think it was going to happen this fast. Check it, it's like I heal really quickly. But I unravel pretty quickly. So get me right now, guys," Sheen said.

He said he is "100 percent" sober now.


ROSEANNE BARR: Lifetime Television says it has ordered 16 half-hour episodes of a new series starring U.S. actress, comedienne and author Roseanne Barr.

The as-yet-untitled show will follow Barr as she takes on her newest endeavor, running her 40-acre macadamia and livestock farm on Hawaii's Big Island alongside her longtime writer-musician boyfriend, Johnny Argent, and son, Jake.

The announcement was made Monday by Nancy Dubuc, Lifetime Networks' president and general manager.

The series will premiere on Lifetime this year, the network said.

"Roseanne Barr is an undeniable force of nature and the idea of following her in this unique premise excited us from the get-go," Dubuc said in a statement.

"Roseanne is funny and brutally honest, and our audience will relate to her decision to go on this adventure and create an entirely new life for herself. We are thrilled she will make her long-awaited return to television on Lifetime."

"I'm coming back down to earth, and keeping it real," Barr added. "They've said 'Roseanne's nuts' for years, and now I'm going to make that a reality -- I'm all about nuts now, macadamia nuts!"

Barr created and starred in the classic sitcom "Roseanne."


CHELSEA HANDLER: Talk-show host and author Chelsea Handler has announced plans for a 19-date stand-up comedy tour set to kick off this May in Boston.

Brad Wollack, Josh Wolf and Heather McDonald, writers for Handler's chat show "Chelsea Lately," will support Handler on-stage during her latest tour, "Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me."

The show comes on the heels of her sold-out 2010 "Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang" tour, which was extended three times, drawing more than 250,000 fans in 44 markets and grossing more than $16 million, Live Nation said Monday.

Handler's fourth book, "Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me," is set for release May 10, the day Handler starts her new show at Boston University's Agganis Arena.


REESE WITHERSPOON: Oscar-winning actress Reese Witherspoon is to be a presenter at the 83rd Academy Awards ceremony in Los Angeles, the telecast's producers announced.

Witherspoon took home the Academy Award for her portrayal of country music icon June Carter in "Walk the Line."

She'll be seen next in "Water for Elephants" and "This Means War." Her other film credits include "Monsters vs Aliens," "Four Christmases," "Penelope," "Rendition," "Sweet Home Alabama" and the "Legally Blonde" films.

Academy Awards for outstanding film achievements of 2010 are to be presented Feb. 27 at the Kodak Theatre at Hollywood & Highland Center, and televised live on the ABC Television Network.

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