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Commentary: Martha, Oprah, B. Smith?

By AL SWANSON, United Press International

CHICAGO, March 9 (UPI) -- Viacom has dropped her television program, Kmart is considering dropping her merchandise and there are reports Martha Stewart will resign as director of the empire that bears her name.

Stewart faces 16 months in federal prison for lying to investigators about an insider stock trade that saved her around $45,000. She was convicted of obstruction of justice, making false statements and conspiracy.

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Talk about a leak sinking an aircraft carrier.

Shares in Martha Stewart Omnimedia Inc. tanked, falling to less than $10 Monday, and while there will be no tag days for Martha loyal stockholders will take a bath. The New York Daily News says Stewart can't let go.

She reportedly spent an hour appealing to the corporation's board to allow her to remain a "creative force" in the 5-year-old company she founded. As a convicted felon any future role won't be as a corporate officer. Stewart gave up the titles chairwoman and chief executive officer when she was indicted last year.

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Martha owns 61 percent of the shares and has veto power over the five board members. She has lost an estimated $30 million since her conviction Friday, but Martha is a former stockbroker and probably diversified long before then.

The indignities are just beginning.

The New York Times Syndicate renamed her "Ask Martha" column "Living" and she is being forced off Revlon's board.

A modest proposal.

First, deep-six that company name. Oprah Winfrey aside it's still rare for a woman to build a media empire by sheer force of personality. Oprah is a genuine force of nature who became the world's first African-American female billionaire by touching the psyche of average women from the ghetto to the suburbs.

She did it with warmth, humor, honesty and sharing. Who would ever have guessed Oprah was sexually abused and had smoked crack if she hadn't admitted it.

Who wouldn't want to be the friend of such an open, caring human being. It works for me.

You go to her tapings at Harpo Studios and she gives away stuff -- good stuff.

Martha got her billion by appealing to those same working class and suburban women longing for something "better" but hemmed in by family commitments and tight budgets.

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Martha's shows were mostly about her, and with few exceptions she never gave anything away. She told wannabes where to buy it.

"Omnimedia" says more about Stewart's ego than she imagined. It evokes the image of a micromanaging egomaniac incapable of sacrificing for the common good.

Stewart should have swallowed hard and taken her loss on the ImClone stock, or at the least confessed when the FBI agents came around and paid restitution.

She would still be a billionaire.

Why she chose to lie to the feds and the American people with a smile on her face and maintain her innocence on her Web site until the day after her conviction, only she knows.

Some say she was prosecuted simply because she wasn't part of Wall Street's old boys club.

Tyco International's L. Dennis Koslowski, the defendant famous for a $6,000 shower curtain and a Roman orgy-themed birthday party, clearly was not watching "Martha Stewart Living." Enron's Jeffrey Skilling must be befuddled that Stewart may do hard time for CEO "pocket money."

Anyway back to the proposal

If her appeals fail and Stewart does time she will never head a corporation again. So drop the Omnimedia now.

Kmart sold $1.5 billion worth of Martha Stewart Everyday merchandise last year, from towels and sheets to patio furniture and Christmas ornaments. Stewart-labeled goods were 5 percent of the struggling retailer's sales and helped Kmart emerge from a 15-month bankruptcy.

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If people like the stuff keep making it. Find a new domestic diva and change the name.

Here are some candidates:

Julia Child. She must be 100 years old.

Heloise, the household hints guru of generations past. She's dead. Her daughter still does the column but is not that well known.

Beverly DeJulio, PBS's "Handy Ma'am." She's great with do-it-yourself projects, but I don't know about cooking and dinner parties. How many women have power tools anyway. She would make a great spokeswoman for Lowe's or The Home Depot.

Miss Manners, Judith Martin. Too prissy. But the syndicated columnist has deplored "wildly blatant" greed and bad behavior by corporate executives in a Business Week interview.

What about B. Smith?

Isn't she the black Martha Stewart? Would middle-class American accept etiquette lessons from an African-American woman?

Oprah! Oprah! Oprah! Enough said.

For those who don't know, Barbara Smith is a best-selling author who writes under the name B. Smith and hosts a syndicated television show, "B. Smith With Style," soon to appear on the new TV One cable channel geared to an adult black audience.

Smith's elegant presentation of cooking, decorating and lifestyle tips has sort of flown under the radar for years showing up at odd hours, like 5:30 a.m. Sunday morning, on local television stations.

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The former model and Oil of Olay girl also owns restaurants in Washington and New York that combine gourmet recipes with fine Southern cuisine. Smith has a line of home-furnishing products at Bed, Bath & Beyond.

The question is: Could Smith make that personal connection with viewers and fill the shoes of a Martha or an Oprah.

Would she even want to merge with a sinking Martha Stewart?

B. Smith Everyday certainly sounds at lot friendlier than Omnimedia Everyday, and is America really ready for Queer Eye Guys Everyday.

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