UPI Hears...

WASHINGTON, Dec. 31 (UPI) -- Insider notes from United Press International for Dec. 31

Middle East shoppers looking for after Christmas bargains should check out Israel's Defense Ministry's fire sale of surplus military equipment. The Defense Ministry's catalogue of goodies includes F-16 warplanes, tanks and the ever-popular assault helicopter. Discounts begin at $50,000; organizers are hoping to raise $100 million. The funds will be used to help the army, whose budget has been curtailed during the country's recession. Two caveats for prospective buyers; buyers must prove that they have no connections to anti-Israeli organizations, and sales of U.S.-built weapons systems must be approved by Washington to ensure that they do not fall into "enemy hands." No word as yet if the U.S. Congress -- which paid for much of this Israeli equipment -- will be getting copies of 2003's ultimate shopping catalogue.

The battle for hearts and minds in Saudi Arabia continues. Saudi religious scholar Abdullah Nasser Al Rashid, on the Saudi authorities "most wanted" list, has condemned the public recantations of formerly militant fellow clerics Ali Al Khudair, Nasser Al Fahad and Hmoud Al Khalidi. Since the Nov. 9 bombing of Riyadh's Al Mohayya residential compound, the jailed trio has withdrawn their previous religious edicts endorsing violence. Al Rashid is now saying in his recently published book, "Shattered Recantations" that the imprisoned scholars were forced to repudiate their rulings and compared the three clerics to Egypt's Islamic Gamaa and their recantations forced out of them from prison. Perhaps leaving the door open for his own possible jailhouse conversion Al Rashid commented that Allah praises anyone who retracts what needs to be retracted.

International opposition is growing to the Department of Homeland Security's proposal to place sky marshals on flights entering U.S. airspace. The International Air Transport Association argues that the best way to keep airlines safe from terrorist attacks is to keep the terrorists from boarding. In a comment guaranteed to give Tom Ridge heartburn, Eric Lahon, of a French pilot union tartly observed, "To imagine that we're going to solve a terrorism problem by putting cowboys on board planes is to admit that we failed at all security measures on the ground." Finland's national airline Finnair flatly refused to place armed guards on its planes, saying it prefers to ground certain flights. Britain will put armed security "where appropriate," upsetting many of its pilots, who have said they would refuse to fly specific routes. Britain's airline pilots association has called for an emergency world summit of airline pilots to discuss the issue. America's neighbors are more pliant: Mexico is putting armed agents on its aircraft, while Air Canada said that it is following similar measures on certain flights.

Iran's covert nuclear program has been under intense international scrutiny lately. Now President Mohammad Khatami has denied rumors sweeping the bazaars that the earthquake, which leveled Bam on Dec. 26, killing tens of thousands was caused by a secret nuclear test. Khatami said after a visit to the devastated region, "although these assertions have swirled around they are totally useless. Our religious principles, our security and defense doctrine leave no room for nuclear arms."

Doh! It can now be revealed that British Prime Minister Tony Blair agreed to appear in "The Simpsons" only after the cartoonists dropped plans to have him star alongside a dog, as he feared the image would portray him as "America's poodle." Simpsons producer Al Jean commented, "In the original script, there was a scene where Mr. Blair presents the Simpsons with a corgi dog as they get off the plane. "This had to be cut because Downing Street felt there was a risk that he would be seen as America's poodle." Blair acquired the canine epithet from the tabloid Daily Mirror as President George W. Bush's "poodle" for supporting the U.S.-led war on Iraq. The corgi presented another problem. Queen Elizabeth II owned nine corgis until one was savaged last week by one of Princess Anne's terriers and had to be put down. Blair's episode, curiously titled "The Regina Monologues," will air in Britain on Jan. 9.