Consumer Corner: Only one way to avoid a hangover -- don't drink

CHICAGO, Dec. 26 (UPI) -- New Year's, Halloween and St. Patrick's Day have one thing in common: People who normally don't consume much alcohol get plastered. My brother used to refer to those holidays as amateur nights.

So with the New Year just around the corner, what better time to examine various cures for the dreaded hangover.

Sufferers complain of headache, nausea, sensitivity to light and noise, lethargy, dysphoria, diarrhea and thirst. As the effects of imprudent consumption fade, anxiety and depression may set in. The causes? Possibly hypoglycemia, dehydration, acetaldehyde intoxication, glutamine rebound and vitamin B12 deficiency. At any rate, the morning after is highly unpleasant.

Among the recommendations to speed recovery is hair of the dog -- another good stiff belt. But that likely only eases the unpleasantness temporarily. Intravenous drips of B vitamins have been offered as a solution on some television medical dramas as well as popping vitamin C and N-acetylcysteine. Other advice has included drinking a massive amount of water (ideally before going to bed) and a breakfast including lots of sugar and fat -- just try keeping it down. About.com suggests pickles and canned fish (hey, they drink pickle juice in Poland). Lifescript.com suggests drinks like Gatorade or even the kids' Pedialyte to replace depleted electrolytes and lots of fruit.

If all else fails, go back to bed.

"No compelling evidence exists to suggest that any conventional or complementary intervention is effective for preventing or treating alcohol hangover. The most effective way to avoid the symptoms of alcohol induced hangover is to avoid drinking," the British Medical Journal has advised.

Wikipedia reports the ancient Romans favored raw owl's eggs or fried canary the morning after while the French whipped up the "Prairie Oyster," a mixture that includes raw egg yolk, Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco sauce, salt and pepper. The Ritz-Carlton Hotel once offered Coke mixed with milk and Ernest Hemingway preferred tomato juice and beer. Then there's the "Black Velvet": equal parts champagne and flat Guinness Stout.

For those who want a more physical approach there's always a shower, alternating hot and cold water, but that can induce heart arrhythmias, Wikipedia said. Lifescript advises a workout to help sweat it out.

And there's always sex. It releases oxytocin, a natural pain reliever.

If you're craving coffee, forget it. Coffee is a diuretic that can make the dehydration worse.

In recent years, remedies like Alcohol-X and PreToxx have made their appearance. Doctors advise staying away from aspirin and acetaminophen, but ibuprophen is OK.

Much of the effect can be blamed on the alcohol itself -- ethanol has a dehydrating effect -- and once the body's enzymes get to work on it, it's broken down into other substances much more toxic than the alcohol itself.

What you're drinking can also make a difference. The BMJ found bourbon is twice as likely to cause a hangover as vodka. Some researchers blame cogeners, which give liquor unique tastes -- the darker the drink, the more cogeners.

When it comes to wine, a bad harvest can produce painful results, with young wines more likely to produce hangovers than those aged in oak barrels, essortment.com reports. Also reds have more negative effects than whites.

Cheers.